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My Mum has died - Carers UK Forum

My Mum has died

For anyone who is bereaved or no longer providing care.
My Mum died on Tuesday, she had been suffering with vascular dementia and I was her carer, I looked after her all day and all night and now I don't know what to do with my day, I know it is early days yet but I feel so alone in the world right now. I have read some of the other topics in this section and everyone I know has felt the same. I just needed to write this down. I am very proud of myself that I didn't let her get put into a nursing home and that I kept her at home right until the end, but I had to fight everyday to do this and now I no longer have to fight. I just miss her and want her to be back again.
Hi Rosemary

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your mum. You did very well to keep her at home right to the end. You can take comfort that you managed.

You will be feeling very lost and lonely at the moment but also having a lot to arrange for the funeral. Being carers most or even all our lives are entwined with our carees and we dont really have much of a life of our own so we just dont know what to do.

The main thing is not to make any big decisions about your life for a while yet. Deal with the funeral then have some quiet time at home and if you can have a holiday even if it is only a few days 30 miles down the road. The main thing is to get out of your routine when you were caring 24/7.

Have as much rest as you can just now and once again I am so sorry about your loss.

Little Lamb
Oh Rosemary, I am so sorry for your loss

My condolences on your loss. Don't try and 'do' anything right now. Give yourself time to deal with immediate arrangments and to morn.
Sorry to hear about your mum, Rosemary.

As everyone else has said, don't make big decisions now: plenty of time for that later. Best to get things out of the way, and get your grieving done, first.
condolences, and (((((hugs))))) to you.

One suggestion I would offer is, don't let anyone tell you how long to grieve for,nobody, not even the people you are closest to.
Let yourself have time to sleep, be prepared to wake with a jump and feel a little panicky for a second or two,until you remember.
If you find you have a lot of visitors, ask them to make you a cup of tea, not the other way around;tell them directly that you don't feel up to it.
You are not just feeling sad about losing your Mum,you have also lost your way in life,your daily routine. Catch up with yourself,if you are able to have the time without financial worries.
Don't be afraid to remember happy times, fun and laughter.

Do whatever it takes for you to be able to get through each day and night.
With love. x
I'm so sorry to hear your sad news Rosemary. x x
Thinking of you at this sad time.

Your mum will always be with you in your heart and in your mind, the pain will ease over time as happy memories take over.

Take care
Dear Rosemary

So sorry to hear of the loss of your beloved Mum.

You've had the best advice already - it is early days yet so give yourself time to grieve before you start making changes.

And we're always here to listen.
Dear Rosemary,
I am sorry for the loss of your Mum and just want to say what a wonderful person you are for supporting your mum until the end of her life ! ' It takes a very special person to do this’.

I fully appreciate not everyone can do this due to lack of support...