Mother died this morning around 11.00

[Jacqueline_180912]

Very true about not rushing. Got to work out to finance everything now. Mabe rent out a room if I do stay on. Its all ifs atm ...

Great how you suddenly lose your income at this delicate time!

Enjoyed the snow today and had a cuppa with a friendly neighbour.

[Jacqueline_180912]

Funeral is on tuesday. My son and I went shopping for posh black outfits today.

I wrote a eulogy for my mum and hope to read it on the day.

We have done lots of tidying. Life feels managable today.

[bowlingbun]

Well done. It's tough time, the day after a funeral can be difficult. Take a small carton of juice or bottle of water when you go, leave in the car. We found this really helped.

[Jacqueline_180912]

Had a holiday. Looked at some houses for sale. Cried a lot.

I miss being a daughter ...

[bowlingbun]

Jacqueline, it's a huge period of readjustment, really early days yet. Crying is very therapeutic, part of letting go gradually. You are still mum's daughter, as I am mine. She lives on in your heart and in your memories. After a while, the last few months will fade away from memory to some extent, and you will remember without tears all the happy times you shared.

[Jacqueline_180912]

So sad. I really really miss her. I know time is a great healer but ...

She was so sweet and amusing. I have a lot of pictures that she painted up on the walls, she would be amazed!

[Melly1]

Hi Jacqueline,
Firsts are always extra difficult, so no wonder you are missing her even more today.
Be kind to yourself and pick some flowers/ light a candle/ scoff an Easter egg or try and paint a picture yourself - whatever you decide, do it in her honour and memory.

(((Hugs))))

Melly1

[bowlingbun]

Jacqueline, you are doing really well, although it won't feel like it. Try keeping a diary, for your eyes only, of how you are feeling, then you will realise that you are now taking baby steps forward. There are no fast fixes through grief I'm afraid. It takes as long as it takes.

[Jacqueline_180912]

Got awful anxiety. Cant even leave the house and no income. Probate is taking ages and I am worried about money!

Still miss Mother, naturally but this waking up shaking with fear and feeling afraid most of the time is a whole new level. I am not elibable for any benefits ... Rather scarey.

[susieq]

Hello Jacqueline

Yes, unfortunately, Probate can take a while to come through. I suggest that you go and talk to your Bank - explain the problem and ask for an overdraft to see you through this period. Take the Probate papers with you so that they can see that once it's been granted you will be solvent again and will able to repay the overdraft immediately. Getting an overdraft from your bank will be a much better option that taking a loan from any other lender - interest rates are so much less and far more manageable.

Your anxiety is probably not helped by worrying about money but maybe some form of counselling would help with that ? First port of call a visit to your GP to explain how you are feeling and see what they have to offer.