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Loss of a caree partner - Page 61 - Carers UK Forum

Loss of a caree partner

For anyone who is bereaved or no longer providing care.
627 posts
Hi Big bear, (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
and thinking of you.
As Susie said, I suppose the first anniversary is the hardest. I had panic attacks coming up to hubs's first, I didn't know how I'd be. In the end I went to Brighton, it was Hubs and mine favourite day out, we used to sit on the beach and laugh at seagulls, get fish and chips etc. My son and daughter and their wonderful partners came with me, and my lovely cousin and we all had a day out, went for fish and chips, and raised a toast to Hubs. Am going to try and do that every year if i can.
I Love the idea of Mr BB's bench. I have this lovely vision of you sitting on it, and he is with you.
Take care, and will speak to you soon,
lots of love,
Phoebe xxxxxxxxx
hello you lovely people,
a busy weekend b4 mr bb's anniversary,
saturday was gr8,
went to 2 parties and met lots of old and newer friends,
and home b4 it got dark
off to seaside with chum 2moro
love and hugs
and big thank you for kind words and ideas,
big bear x
hi gang!
an emotional day!
right across the range happily,including the nice ones like joy and laughter
although i lost my rag with someone whose rudeness i normally ignore, hee hee1
lovely bench done with help of friends!
it wasn't easy,
but i think the build up to it was worse...
i have some lovely memories of this anniversary
sad though it was,
as i say i have some lovely memories!
love and hugs and thanks all for your kind words at this time!
big bear xxxxxxxxx :)
I was just reading your post and thought that is me, I had to sleep in a separate bedroom because of the medical equipment and pillows in my husbands bedroom (used to be ours), when he was rushed into hospital on Friday and died Saturday I went home with my sons and they told me they were going to stay with me and I said no, I need to sit and think. I went upstairs, changed the sheets on the bed I had been using and closed the door. I went into my husbands room and climbed into bed and slept on the sheets he had been using which smelled of him. I knew if I didn't do it that night I never would because for three years we had slept in different rooms and I knew I would find it difficult to move into a bedroom that had been a virtual hospital room for so long. I have still the sheets on the bed and am loathe to change them so I am not. The medical equipment was collected and I put the large 'v' pillows in a massive bag to save in the laundry room, I cannot bear to get rid of them. The bedroom is back to how it used to be as I always made sure he had lovely bedding and duvets on to make it look less like a medical room, flowers in vases and matching curtains. Just the clutter has gone, but I am so heartbroken and lonely, if I died tomorrow I would not care because my life has gone, he was 18 when I met him and he was the best husband and father anyone could ever have, my sons are totally devastated and upset because I hid so much from them as I didn't want them to have to worry about him.

I send you my love.
dear sweet thing, first sincere condolences on the recent sad loss of your dear husband..
i is just over a year since i lost mr bb,
and it feels sometimes as if hes just in another room,
my happy memories are still fresh and vivid,
i am so sorry for your loss sweet thing,
love and hugs
big bear x
Reading some of the postings on here I can relate to so many of them. My wife and I met when I was 10 and she was 9, we lived literally round the corner from each other and passed on our way to school in the mornings. We grew and aged together for 68 years until she sadly passed away 18 months ago after I had been her Carer for 29 years, 24 of which were 24/7 after having had to "Retire from work" at 54 to be a full time Carer. The sense of loneliness and quietness, the length of those evenings particularly in the winter is unimaginable, I still find it hard to go out of the house, you have lost your friends and social life long long ago, somehow you do not fit in anywhere now. What to do next? Take in a lodger for company? Lots of potential hassle there! Can I, could I, would I be able to find another lady friend? Oh the thoughts and questions I have asked myself but still have no answer to them. I still run a Carers group, work for Age UK and am an Ambassador for Carers UK which fills a lot of time in a week but still that something is missing, without dog I shudder to think how I would have coped.
so sorryfor your loss!
good to know i'm not alone going through all this
love and hugs
big bear x ;) :)
I used to know it as Haringay so what is the difference and why spelt differently? Many many years ago we went several times to watch speedway at Haringay, they also had greyhound racing. We grew up and lived in Hackney Wick and Bethnal Green in the 40s and 50s, gosh that's a long while ago!
hi les, haringay, green lanes and the dogtrack, now a big sainsburys
but borough of haringey,i'm east of green lanes!
hope ur having a good weekend,
hugs bigbear x
hi gang,
there really is light at the end of the tunnel,
woke up this morning feeling brighht and cheerful after a week of total dispair, loss and grief at mr bb and his aunties passing,aunty a gorgeous lady died a month ago,
i couldn't shake the feeling of total rock bottom
didn't want to go out
lost interest in life
will try and pick up mr bbs ashes next wk
mr bb's family are scattering aunties ashes at the seaside in a week or 2,
so i'll try 2 take a little envelope of mr bbs ashes and scatter them there too!
i like the idea of scattering mr bbs ashes in little bits in a number of places!
love and hugs
big bear x :)
627 posts