Loss of a caree partner

[phoebe]

Thank you, bell and Violet,
The day itself was ok, made ok by my lovely family who all rallied round. My cousin even took the train over from Bletchley to be with me.
(((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))) out to all you lovelybrave people.
Love Phoebe xxxxxxxxxxx

[Booksey]

Phoebe glad you got through the day as best you could. On the 1st of June it will be 2 years since my dad died followed three months later by hubs 2nd anniversary. Hopefully I will be in my new house by then and it will be the start of the next part of my journey.
Take care of yourselves

[phoebe]

Hi all, how are you all doing? I did post on this topic a few days ago but got right to the end and it dissappeared Didn't have the energy to retype it , lol.
Booksey- hope the anniversary was ok and hope you are in your new house soon.
I have not been too good, anxiety, panic, tears, all sorts of confusing issues wearing me out , I know i don't have to explain to you lovely people, you always understand.
Have gone back to counselling which is helping and I feel better already, more equipped to deal with things.
More importantly, I have learned that the only right way is what is right for me. Has taken me a long time to figure that out, I always was slow on the uptake, lol.
Love to you all, and stay strong,
Love Phoebe xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[bowlingbun]

Hi Phoebe, My problem was that I didn't know what I wanted. I remember saying I wanted to do the right thing, I just didn't know what that was! Since my recent holiday I've decided to take one day a week for myself. As it's carers week I've been out two afternoons. Both sons have commented that its twice in a week! I pointed out that since I'd been busy in the garden until it was dark yesterday, and I was up beforev6 this morning, I could allow myself a few hours off!!! Have you and your counsellor worked out one thing you could change yet?

[phoebe]

Hi Bowling,
my problem was always that i knew what I didn't want, just didn't know what I did want
My counseller sort of leads me to talk, lets me ramble on about stuff and then makes an observation that makes sense to me, I go back to see him on July 7 but can ring him beforehand if I need to.
Good for you taking time for yourself you deserve it
Love Phoebe xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[big bear]

hello gang!
big bear chatting!
a quiet day in today!
or on or around the estate...
anniversary of mr bb's death in a couple of wks,4 august, the 1st anniversary,
a bit confusing,
obviously the calendar is right
but it really doesn't seem that long,
missing him so much...
can't seem 2 distract myself at the moment,
he was such a lovely boy!
big big bear smile!
love and hugs to you all
big bear x

[susieq]

lots of BIG hugs for you Big Bear (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Have you planned to do anything on Mr BB's anniversary ?
Sometimes it helps to do something 'special' - maybe a trip out to somewhere you both enjoyed or a 'remembrance' meal with friends special to you both ?

[Brindleboy123]

hi there Big Bear....I agree with Susie, it is sometimes nice to do something, especially on the first anniversary. perhaps even a meal with a friend to that little cafe you both used to go to? Time does pass so quickly and yet I know how in the middle of the night when our thoughts are often everywhere and we can't sleep, it seems like only yesterday that our loved ones were with us.

Take care Big Bear...

Bell x

[big bear]

hello gang,
well i've made plans to see old friends,
a lot of friends on different days around the anniversary next sunday night,
, mr bb died at home early morning of the 4th aug
some local chums and i will plan to putlittle plaque to mr bb
on bench in local park,
where mr bb and i often sat,

i have no plans for the evening as yet,
i'd like to spend the evenings of mr bb's anniversary the same way in the future,
not sure what i'll do yet...any ideas???

i have a busy w/e coming up,
b4 the anniversary
and seeing good friends on weds and thursday this week,
if its not raining i may sit on mr bb's bench early evening and just quietly relax,
perhaps have a nice meal,
and quietly watch a favourite dvd,
or read some of mr bb's poems,

hope you are all coping well
thanks so much for your support and helpful ideas!
love and hugs
big bear x

[susieq]

((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))) Big Bear

I think the first anniversary is always the hardest so it's good that you will have friends around you who remember Mr BB. We try to have a meal out on Mum's anniversary - just the ladies in the family and we raise a glass or two in her memory Mum's anniversary is just 10 days before Dad's so we include him in the toast too !