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Loss of a caree partner - Page 48 - Carers UK Forum

Loss of a caree partner

For anyone who is bereaved or no longer providing care.
627 posts
Feel so sad today, what's wrong now? Should be happy, got company for dinner. Just so sad.
Grief doesnt care about social niceties nana it just barges in anyway
well put crocus!
i'm just plucking up nerve to put a cd
but nice music kind of might make me feel unhappy
this grief thing really frightens me

dear nana, hope your dinner chums were supportive
and made you feel happy in spite opf your bereavement.

chum just rang to tell me theres an interesting nature prog on bbc1 2nite
so will get my head together to an evening of music for another occasion!
love and hugs
big bear x
Just been reading all the past few posts, can relate to everything you have all written.
Tidied out the store cupboard, and found several tins of soup, spam and corned beef that I had stocked up on when i was trying to tempt Hubs to eat. Wanted to cry, just want him back.
Bigbear- music a big problem for me at the moment. Music has always been a huge part of my life. I have always listened to all kinds of music, and am a trained classical pianist. Hubs loved music too, and we always had music playing that we listened to together. Sometimes classical or opera, sometimes pop. or 60's through to the 80's.
Now- this is the problem, almost everything I listen to now, will remind me of Hubs as we listened to practically everything over the years., and it's painfull for me. But there's never been a time in my life when I've not had music round me.
I've started by putting on a different radio station when My son and my stepson are home, so I am not listening alone.
Other music, I listen to alone in my room, so if I cry, I can have a good bawl.

All we can do is plod on and muddle through as best we can, i suppose.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) out to all you brave people who give me strength.

Love Phoebe xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I've always had music in the house, sadly not of my own making. I gave away all my favourite LP's and record player, just couldn't cope with all the memories. Now I have a CD player, but can only listen to different music.
hiya phoebe, thanks for all the feedback to my music sadness worries!
i think i'll try and get through this as i can't face a life without music (and the favourite dvd's we used to watch)
it must be so much harder foryou phoebe
i love music but not in a scholarly or anything but i don't know much about music way!
for you as a musician maybe it would be possible to see your joint interest as a kind of lecagy in a good way,
he would have wanted you to enjoy it eventually as you both did when he was alive,
it's a bit like mr bbs lecacy to me of an interest in history and a huge library of books
his legacy to me and a great source ofcomfort!
though as yet no substitute for mr bbs enquiring mind and patient teaching of me
a bit like educating rita, lol
hi bowling bun and others in our little gang!

hope you enjoyed dinner with youre friends last night nana!

just checking emails,
big bbsmile,
this notification was the only one i opened!
must dash!
just got i and dinner to sort out for chum tonight!
love and hugs
big bear x Image Image
Me and hubs had totally different music tastes I will listen to everything he wouldn't listen to anything except the beatles and any solo work they did. I play music constantly when I'm at home because I can't stand the silence and if the lyrics make me cry then they make me cry sometimes they make me shout and jump up and down I just go with the flow.

I've been a bit of a mourngy so and so the past few days I'm so tired of having to put so much effort in to day to day living, everything seems twice as hard as it should do. I had to buy a new washer the other day, luckily for me we have a local family business nearby and the salesperson was quite happy to help the mad widow who was nearly in tears because shes never bought a washer on her own before Image .

Take care everyone
Hi gang just to let you know I am ok but at times it has been very difficult .... We all have the problem of something triggering a memory , I cant get used to cooking for one , cant get used to not talking to lyn while I cook , seems silly I know but it is a memory and was a big part of our life ....
My son who is home now from the army for good has said perhaps I need to sell the mobility scooter as that is also a memory , get something for it and take a holiday , he is right of course but it is the letting go ....
I have my own therapist called Sandra and I start with her on the 17th of this month , this will be I hope the boost I need to grief ..
dear delboy,
i knowe how you feel,
couldn't bear to cut mr bb's debit card in half had to ask bank chap to do it when i closed a/c today
can't get rid of mr bb's rollator yet,sitting on it as i type,
also can't face getting rid of commode and perching stool
how mad is that...silly bear
i have lovely support worker
and hope to get bereavement counselling
age uk

on the whole i'm i guess managing quite well
only 5 wks or so since mr bb's funeral
still in shock i guess....
all the very best delboy
big bear x Image
After seven years, I'd say it's important to say "goodbye" to things slowly and carefully, to do it in your own time, not when other people say. Who is to know what anything represented to you and your spouse. I've kept some silly, worthless things because they reminded me of something special in our lives together. I know some people who have been helped by relatives to cleanse the house of all trace of a loved one thinking it will help, but quite the reverse happened. As long as you are working slowly through the decisions, step by step, and doing it at your own pace, that's fine.
627 posts