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Loss of a caree partner - Page 44 - Carers UK Forum

Loss of a caree partner

For anyone who is bereaved or no longer providing care.
627 posts
Delboy, sending you hugs. x x
dear delboy,
i have a similar note mr bb wrote me the first ,and thankfully, last time he was in hospital,
i treasure it,
and i'm so glad and grateful he thought to put this little thank you, i love you note on paper for me,
mr bb's handwriting was clear,
a miracle...
i know how you feel,

it's strange guys,
i was so used to being a full time carer
i never dreamt of even having a night away from mr bb,
i loved him so much my darling boy,

thinking of you delboy and booksey,
love big bear x
Delboy, beware the 6 month Grief Monster. It is the lowest of low points. Be kind to yourself when you are feeling like this, don't put any pressure on yourself to do anything you want, get a big box of tissues, and allow yourself to cry as and when you feel the need at the injustice of it all. Get it out of the system at last. From here, the only way is up.
Delboy i agree with BB the grief monster really comes to call at 6 months and makes your life a total pain but all you can do is ride it out. Do whatever you feel up to doing, try and get some fresh air and eat if you are able . Just remember that this too will pass.
You are in shock for a long time after, very slowly you will remember things and be able to do things that you thought you wouldn't.

Thank you for your thoughts yesterday, this may sound odd but we had a good day. Over the day all his siblings came as well as some nephews. I think I achieved what I intended, we remembered hubs and I think managed to add good memories to a date that has such horrific memories attached to it. Its just very sad that they all couldn't manage to get together like that before he died but if thats his legacy then thats a positive thing
Thank you my wonderful friends , I have been been to the docs today , and he says what you have said , and he expected me to come in at some point .... I go back to see him on the 23 rd , the only date he has got .....

One problem with that date , it would of been Lyns Birthday .... but I am determined to get through this , I know there is a light at the end somewhere ....

I told him about the forum he had looked at it him-self and was amazed to what was on there .... his advice to me keep using it you have some good friends on there so good praise from my GP ....

So once again thank you , you are all true friends Image Image Image
(((big hug)))))delboy!
my gp has been a gr8 support too!
and i've a support worker helping me too!
i could do with some proffesional help with all the forms about changes in income etc. after mr bb died,
it just seemed one week there were piles of condolence cards on the doormat
and the next forms in thick brown envelopes!

chum came to dinner tonight
kindly said she'd ask friend who works for c.a.b for suggestions
any ideas any of you who may be further along the line!

must admit only a month in
i can't face the thought of more intense grief
in 5 or 6 months time...
one step at a time...

have a good night chums,
love and hugs
big bear x Image
Had a good cry last night , could not stop , I had bottled it up i know I should not of done .... do feel better this morning .....

My dear friends I thank you for your support and understanding I am so glad that I am on this forum .... take care ..
Hi delboy, glad you had what I call a "Good bawl" last night, much better out than in, only you can't control these things. They come when they are ready. I must have put the value of Kleenex shares up in the months that my OH died, I was so glad when I finally reached the "all cried out" stage.
((((hugs))))) delboy!

keep fit class this morning,
lunch at community centre,
followed by drive to river with chum to chat and pick blackberries,
told a couple of peeps that hadn't heard that mr bb had died..
home again now..
missing mr bb so much!
like an aching empty gap where my heart used to be...
can't seem to cry though,
amazingly lifelike photos of mr bb over my puter,
keeping an eye on me,
and making me want to cry,
my darling boy...
feel like i need time to grieve,
but have had a relatively good day all things considered,
ah well washing to hang out at some point,
the house suddenly seems so empty without mr bb
up till now felt i hadn't moved beyond the point of finding him dead,
so perhaps it's something i just have to go through....
love and hugs to you all
big bear x Image
Darling Bugbear, all it is, is that you're body's saying that it's not ready to cry yet. It's no problem. You will when you're ready, probably at an inopportune time, but heck, does that matter? Still early days for you, body still in shock, has to get over the shock before it continues doing its 'normal' stuff.
You doing all right, don't worry.
627 posts