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Carers UK Forum • It's now 1 week
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It's now 1 week

Posted: Wed Jan 27, 2010 9:09 am
by choosysue
Hello friends,

I've been a week without Mam now, and the longest week in my life I think.

Hubby went back to work Monday, and I saw the Vicar yesterday to arrange service for Friday.
Had taken Mam in her wheelchair to two funerals last Autumn before she was really poorly, and all the time I was talking to Vicar, I was thinking of Mam sitting beside me in the church, being upset for others' loss.

I'm still finding it's the 'small' things that are doing for me right now, was ironing yesterday, did one of Mam's nighties, I know it was the washing powder I could smell, but it was Mam. Do you know what I mean? Found the start of an Asda shopping list she'd done, teabags and sugar, 'never be without a cuppa' was Mam's motto.

I'm dreading Friday, I can't seem to see it as a celebration of Mam's life, I hope I can keep it together for her and not make a show of myself.

Thank you for listening,
Sue. xx

Dear Sue, I am so sorry

Posted: Wed Jan 27, 2010 9:37 am
by susieq
Dear Sue,

I am so sorry to hear about your Mum and can understand you're feeling 'lost' at the moment. I won't say that 'time heals' - because we never actually stop grieving for the loss of a loved one, but gradually it does get more bearable.

Rosemary posted this a few weeks ago and I've kept it as I thought the words were so lovely:

A ship sails and I stand watching till she fades on the horizon and someone at my side says “She is gone.â€

Hi Sue

Posted: Wed Jan 27, 2010 5:40 pm
by ChristineA
The longest week of your life I imagine. It is all those little things that stop you in your tracks isn't it? You are doing great, even just sharing that with us all is a big step. Well done.

Will be thinking about you on Friday.

Chris

Susieq

Posted: Wed Jan 27, 2010 5:42 pm
by ChristineA
Those words are so lovely - so fitting and so right.
Chris

Will be thinking about you

Posted: Wed Jan 27, 2010 6:03 pm
by Myrtle
Will be thinking about you on Friday, Sue.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((hug))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

your in our thoughts sue!

Posted: Wed Jan 27, 2010 6:23 pm
by pixienubbins
your in our thoughts sue! u r doing very well, it is ok to have a fall apart moment though hun x

support

Posted: Thu Jan 28, 2010 7:35 am
by choosysue
Hello again,

Thank you so much for your continued support, and the messages you're sending me.
Suzieq, I really liked the ship on the horizon image, via Rosemary, thank you, am trying to hold that thought today.

Yesterday was a little better than the day before, if only because my neice called for the afternoon with my 4 month old great-nephew. He's gorgeous, and Mam loved him dearly, her first great-grandchild.

I'm going to be sorting Mam's clothes today, she always gave to the Air Ambulance clothes collections, so that's where they're going. Maybe it's too soon to be doing that, but I don't have a lot of time to empty the house with it being Council. You only get two weeks from date of death to hand keys back in or have to pay full rent. We don't have a lot of spare money, and had to pay almost thousand pounds deposit for funeral, until Mam's bank and insurance are sorted. The bank offered to organise out of pocket expenses, but that would have taken almost as long as waiting for her modest savings to be transferred. Who knows these things??? I didn't.

Thank you again Suzieq, Chris, Myrtle and Pixienubbins.

Sue xx

Thinking about you Sue. I

Posted: Thu Jan 28, 2010 1:12 pm
by poppett
Thinking about you Sue. I still have "moments" and I lost mum over four years ago now. It takes time to get things organised and although two weeks isn`t long in one way it does make you just get on with sorting things out, rather than have the ongoing pain for a longer time.

You can always pack things into boxes and decide later what to do with them if that causes less pressure.


Take care
Meg

Hello Sue

Posted: Fri Jan 29, 2010 12:42 pm
by ChristineA
Been thinking of you and hoping you are okay and that everything went well today.

Chris

Re: Hello Sue

Posted: Fri Jan 29, 2010 4:26 pm
by rosemary
Been thinking of you and hoping you are okay and that everything went well today.

Chris
same goes for me too