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Is there something wrong with me? - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

Is there something wrong with me?

For anyone who is bereaved or no longer providing care.
Oh, Booksey.
I am thinking the same thing.
Already, I've sorted out bank stuff, caught up with the washing from the visitors, got the car cleaned, re-booked my own dentist and chiropractor appointments, cancelled hubby's dentist/hospital appointments, made arrangements for some equipment to be collected, Vaxed the hall rug,checking bills, ordering oil, hoovered everywhere and tidied up.
I have to keep busy, hubby would understand I know he would. I have his photos in every room and talk to him every day.
Just because I want to be busy, doesn't mean that I love him any less or that I'm not grieving, cos I am.
Everyone copes differently, there is no right or wrong to it. I'm 'new' to this and am trying to carry on as best as I can. Hubby wouldn't want me to sit and suffer, he wants to see me 'getting on' with my life, doesn't mean I'm heartless.
You cope, YOUR way, not the way that other people 'think you should'. They're not you.
Love Nananana
Hi Nananana

I'm glad you are keeping busy I find it helps.
I'm trying to decorate a bedroom for myself. Currently I'm still sleeping in the living room where I slept with hubs. We gave our bedroom to DD as we were supposed to be getting an extension. DS has moved into DD old room and I'm having his room. Its the only bedroom in this house that I've never slept in with hubs I think I will be okay in there if I ever manage to get DS wallpaper off and something more me on the walls Image
Dear NanaNana & Booksey

Keeping busy in these early days is good, but there comes a time when the busyness stops - when everything that could be cleaned has been cleaned, when everything that could be tidied has been tidied, when all the bills and paperwork are up to date - then the reality hits home and this is the time when you must be kind to yourself. Allow yourself to just sit and be sad, have a little weep but also remember the happy times with joy in your heart, remember that you loved and were loved in return and, in time, the sad times will become fewer and you will only re-live the happy memories.

You will never really be alone as you have all of us to support you for as long as you need us, and even when you no longer need us there will be others here who need you.
Susie, what lovely words,and so true.
I've just been reading these heartwarming posts with a tear in my eye. Like others I'm sure, reading how our friends here are going through similar circumstances as we have and knowing how difficult those times can be, it brings back so many memories.

My sister once told me that I was heartless, uncaring and that I couldn't possibly have loved Mum simply because I chose to organise everything that needed to be done so soon after Mum had passed away. She couldn't have been further from the truth. I loved my Mum but I had to deal with the grief in the only way that I knew at the time. As time goes on I continue to grieve but in a different way.

As Susie says, we will always be here for you Booksey and Nananana in the same way that this forum was here for me when my days were dark and lonely and I sometimes didn't know which way to turn. Grief can at times make you feel the loneliest person in the world and knowing that I just had to press the button and a couple of clicks there would be someone to help me through was a lifesaver.

Bell x

PS To answer your question Booksey in the title of the topic - Most Definately Not! x
good grief!

No doubt they will also criticise you if you dont wear black, or if you meet someone nice in a similar position to you, and decide to start seeing each other for company. I think the best solution to this is to tell them, politely, to mind their own business. I know lots of people who found new love fairly soon after a bereavement, that's life too.
How are you, Booksey?
As recommended by a 'dear friend' ( Image ) I've just booked myself a few days break, I'm going to have some peaceful quiet 'me' time (apart from a leisurely 2 hour pony trekking session, a treat for me). It's time for switching off away from here, where there's still so much to do and think about.
Only told my joyful friend, not telling anyone else - just going to do it. Not going far, but just away somewhere.
Good for you Nana I hope you enjoy yourself. I think in the new year I'm going to try for a break
I'm having a bit of a c*** day I've been a bit weepy, not to sure about the new job I miss being able to talk to hubs about stuff. I've been struggling with an essay as well but have made myself get on with it tonight just needs a re read tomorrow an then it can be sent off.
Time to get a milky drink and try and wind down before going to bed with the new audio book I've treated myself to on my ipod
Take care
Booksey, you are bound to get weepy days - its all part of the grieving process


(((((hugs))))))