I've become a former carer.....

[jenny lucas]

Thank you everyone!

Yes, it was sad, but 'necessary' in that her quality of life had really shrunk and shrunk and shrunk and that hackneyed phrase 'a merciful release' was truly apt.

I can't be 'glad' she is dead ,but I can be 'relieved' if you see what I mean...and I do so hope she is 'gone to a better place'....

(My own personal belief - or, at least, 'longing'! - is that our First Heaven is our own lives, lived 'wonderfully' with all the 'bad stuff' and 'sad stuff' not in it any longer.....it would be nice to think so.)

[Maxwell_1602]

So sorry to hear of your loss . You are right the phrase "merciful release " is hackneyed but so true. A release for your MIL but also for you. It is so sad to watch when someone you love deteriorates and to all intents and purposes just isn't there anymore.

Take strength in the fact that you did all you could For her and I am sure while she was able she did love and appreciate you.

Look after yourself and remember all the good times

[Ayjay]

Sorry to hear of your loss Jenny, but as already said, it's often a blessing in disguise.Despite you're no longer a carer, I sincerely hope you'll continue to post, I always appreciate your forthright contributions.

[Sydneyaus123]

Hi Jenny,

I'm sorry to hear that your MIL has now passed, but I am happy for her that she is at peace now.

I hope that you can get some peace for yourself now as you have been so brilliant. Thank you for always giving out good advice on here and for helping so many people xxx

[jenny lucas]

Thank you again everyone! I don't intend to leave the forum - I'm such a 'loudmouth'!!!!

[G Fraser_1612]

Genuinely delighted to hear you will still be contributing Jenny - who would I have to moan about then?!

I am sure you're late husband would been v proud of how you looked after your MIL.

GFR

[StarFish_1502]

So very sorry, Jenny, to learn of your MIL's passing. (...and apologies for being late to say so - I missed this thread as I don't often read this section of the forum). Your post was very moving and I am glad that the end was gentle for this once vital and dignified lady.

I'm very pleased you intend to remain here; your advice and opinions are invaluable.

[jenny lucas]

Starfish, thank you! Yes, I can't but be 'glad for her' and I do feel she has finally 'escaped and gone home' (as she tried to do, sadly, when she was more mobile). It was a sad way to end her life, but she did have a lot of 'love' - especially from her grandson - whether she knew it by then or not.

Alas, she is an 'object lesson' for us all not to be TOO 'strong-willed to live'......

But her ordeal is over, and that is the main thing.

Thank you re kind words about me! I 'try' at least - but don't always get it right. There is 'plain speaking' and 'straight talking' ....and there is 'callous and judgemental'!!! I need to remember that!

KR, Jenny

[StarFish_1502]

[Melly1]

Hi Jenny,
I'm glad your MIL is now at rest, and her passing was peaceful. How right you and your son were able to say goodbye, despite the challenges you were there for her.
Take time to adjust,
Melly1