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I'm struggling and don't know what to do. - Page 4 - Carers UK Forum

I'm struggling and don't know what to do.

For anyone who is bereaved or no longer providing care.
Oh yes, and who, pray, is telling you you are being 'dramatic' and 'over-reacting'?????


And, by the way, I for one am EXTREMELY judgemental about your situation......I think your sisters are DREADFUL!!!!! :) :) :)

All the best with the poor cat (and poor you and hubby, and poor furniture, etc etc...) It's so awful, isn't it, that they reject what is for their own good.....my cat doesn't even like me picking the endless goosegrass out of his fur....hey ho. I tell him it's for his own good, and otherwise he'd just end up with having to lick them off him and eat them ,but strangely he just doesn't get it.... :(
Lo when hubby holds her have you tried wrapping her up in a towel or blanket (like a sausage roll !)?
That's usually worked with all mine, well for the first 3 or 4 times at least ! (there are lots of videos on youtube demonstrating how to go about it.
Jenny, I'm afraid it's hubby who thinks I should just move on and "let it go". He's right, I know. It hasn't been healthy for me to wallow in it. I guess the solution lies in me, and I know that, for my own sake, I have to cut ties, at least with the overseas bully. I don't need to have anything else to do with that person once the house has sold and we have our inheritance, and that's what I intend to do. I'm not even sure if they'll ever return here. Yes, my brother's girlfriend and his daughter are close by (10 min drive) but bully can't stay with them. Their house is not large enough. Mum's house is about to pass to the new owner, so there will be no accommodation there. Our house....well, no damn way will that ever happen. And younger sister is about 90 minutes away. So....I suspect there will never be a reason for our paths to cross, until the next generation down starts getting married.

Susie, I've suggested the "sausage roll" solution but hubby doesn't feel happy about it. We've got a check up with the vet tomorrow and I'm really hoping we can drop the antibiotics and painkillers after that. She's eating like a horse and looking and behaving very perky and lively (when she's not asleep) so fingers crossed we have one more nasty dose of yukky medicine left.
Well, glad to hear it isn't your sisters (otherwise would be tempted to clock them!).

Yes, hubby is right, but at the moment it's just a tad too soon. As you say, you need to get the house sold, the money divvied up, and then you can draw a line and go for closure, and move on with your life - as you richly deserve to do.

I don't think Susie's idea sounds cruel, does it, if that is what your hubby fears? Babies 'like' being swaddled apparently as it gives them a feeling of security. If you watch those vet programmes, when they deal with wild animals, they put a cloth bag over their heads, and that instantly calms them, so it seems. But it isn't cruel per se, and anyway, it's only a a short duration that your cat would be 'restrained'. Yes, I'm sure she'll take extreme umbrage at such 'disrespect' and go off in a total huff, but alas, that is wht happens when we do things 'for their own good' that they do not see as being for their own good in the slightest - just the servants being totally out of order (time to sack them and hire new staff methinks!!!!)

Hope she can come off the meds, and great she's looking livelier. :)
Health update for those who gave advice about the feisty feline we belong to....We've been allowed to discontinue the antibiotics (the drops she REALLY objected to) and the painkillers, so Madam is feeling a lot more forgiving nowadays. She still needs her thyroid meds, but we've discovered we can just gently hold her in position on whatever soft surface she's on (usually her beanbag) when it's dose time, and she's fairly amenable to that. It's not a pleasure, exactly, but she can tolerate it. Being picked up is apparently what she loathes. We're not pinning her down at all - all it takes is a hand on her back to hold her still. It's a miracle. We're still treated to one of her legendary huffs every once in a while, but most of the time, it's simple. We dose her, she gets a chicken treat and then she goes back to sleep. All without us being sworn at. It's rather bizarre.....
That sounds SO much better! Relief all round! Phew!