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I lost my Gran on Monday, im lost. - Carers UK Forum

I lost my Gran on Monday, im lost.

For anyone who is bereaved or no longer providing care.
Hello everyone, my Gran was 106 so had a full life, although she's had so many health problems in the last few months.

She had to be admitted into St Mary's hospital 3 weeks ago, but came back home last Thursday in a terrible state, she could barely talk, over the weekend she faded and passed away Monday morning...and now im lonely, lost, in her home that she was the council tenant and i was getting carers benefits which is what i lived on, and i have nowhere else to go...its only a matter of time before im evicted.

Oh, did I mention ive suffered from anxiety most of my life.

She was my life and now im completely done in.

Sorry for whining but i just had to get this off my chest.
Hello & welcome Nicholas

My condolences for your Gran what an amazing age. I am sorry Gran was sent home in an unsatisfactory way.

Don't despair there is help available to you. Shelter UK are the go to organisation for accommodation issues.

https://england.shelter.org.uk/

You maybe able to get housing succession rights but shelter will advice.

What age are you?

Talk away!!

Also you can contact Citizen Advice for benefit help.

https://www.gov.uk/benefits-calculators

You can use a benefits calculator which may give you some idea on what you can claim.

https://www.gov.uk/browse/benefits/bereavement

Have a read ... and see if you can access financial help with ....

https://www.gov.uk/funeral-payments
https://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advic ... ereavement
sunnydisposition wrote:
Tue Apr 13, 2021 10:07 pm
Hello & welcome Nicholas

My condolences for your Gran what an amazing age. I am sorry Gran was sent home in an unsatisfactory way.

Don't despair there is help available to you. Shelter UK are the go to organisation for accommodation issues.

https://england.shelter.org.uk/

You maybe able to get housing succession rights but shelter will advice.

What age are you?

Talk away!!

Also you can contact Citizen Advice for benefit help.

https://www.gov.uk/benefits-calculators

You can use a benefits calculator which may give you some idea on what you can claim.

https://www.gov.uk/browse/benefits/bereavement

Have a read ... and see if you can access financial help with ....

https://www.gov.uk/funeral-payments
https://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advic ... ereavement
Thank you for replying Sunny. I will look into the links you posted.

I'm 47 and have been a carer for my Gran since the late 90s and have lived with her most of my life.
With deepest sympathy Nicholas for your loss.

Welcome to the forum here. I'm trying to care for my mum who is 93 and most of my old anxiety is back, especially social phobia from my youth.

Don't feel like you're whining in any way - it really helps to let things out.

Take care, David
Be sure to apply for benefits asap, because they won't backdate them. Is anyone around to help you sort things out?
David4 wrote:
Tue Apr 13, 2021 11:53 pm
With deepest sympathy Nicholas for your loss.

Welcome to the forum here. I'm trying to care for my mum who is 93 and most of my old anxiety is back, especially social phobia from my youth.

Don't feel like you're whining in any way - it really helps to let things out.

Take care, David
Thank you David.

Im sure you're doing brilliantly for your Mum, but its not easy when you have your own demons to cope with too.
bowlingbun wrote:
Wed Apr 14, 2021 2:58 am
Be sure to apply for benefits asap, because they won't backdate them. Is anyone around to help you sort things out?
Yes, im very lucky to have help with these things. Im going to get the funeral out the way first then I'll tackle the other stuff, its just things have been terrible this week and everything got on top of me.
I know how hard this is. I found my husband dead in bed.
Nothing prepares you for the death of a loved one, whatever age.
Between now and the funeral, just do whatever you MUST do.
Leave everything else until afterwards.
Put all the papers in a lever arch file, so they don't keep looking at you, there will be time enough later.
bowlingbun wrote:
Wed Apr 14, 2021 6:08 pm
I know how hard this is. I found my husband dead in bed.
Nothing prepares you for the death of a loved one, whatever age.
Between now and the funeral, just do whatever you MUST do.
Leave everything else until afterwards.
Put all the papers in a lever arch file, so they don't keep looking at you, there will be time enough later.
Oh I'm so sorry that happened to you, the shock and grief must have been unbearable.

Yes I'm going to focus on the funeral and giving my grandmother the send off she deserves, then deal with e everything else later. Its daunting tho.
Just keep telling yourself "I am NOT going to panic". If you feel the need to do something make a list of jobs to sort out, but don't worry if you feel too exhausted be kind to yourself. Try to go for a short walk every day. I cried buckets every evening. Sort out what you are going to wear for the funeral, then if your suit needs to go to the cleaners, there is time. Do your shoes need a polish, etc. Then order a book from eBay called Starting Again by Sarah Litvinoff. It really helped me.