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I feel rubbish - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

I feel rubbish

For anyone who is bereaved or no longer providing care.
There's your sign Booksey. You are not making a complete hash!
There you go, what's wrong with that. It's lovely.
I understand the lack of answers.
Love and hugs, xxx
Sending hugs to you Booksey xx
Booksey, it really is still early days. You and your son have both been under huge amounts of stress for a very long time. If your son is trying to assert his authority and be "The Man of the House" then he needs to be reminded that this involves both maturity and a lot of responsibility. 19 is a difficult age, neither boy nor man, and I'm sure his dad would have been a steadying influence. If he was winding you up so much that in the end you slapped him, then he was VERY wrong to do so when he knew you were grieving. He needs to apologise to you for his own behaviour, not rubbing your nose in it at every opportunity. Then you both need to bury the hatchet and start 2013 with a clean sheet, perhaps saying it's going to be a lot easier if you face the future together? My eldest son is a lot older than yours, at 35. He now lives with me, together with his partner and baby. There are mutual advantages to this arrangement, but there have been many times when I've had to bite my tongue, develop selective deafness, or walk away. M, my son with SLD, sometimes asks why his brother is a "bit snappy" at times (which always brings a crocodile to mind!) but we all miss my OH so much, after 6 years. It's sometimes the most trivial of things which brings all sorts of memories or regrets flooding back. It might help your son to read a book on bereavement, if he hasn't already, however the bottom line is that at 19 he is deemed to be an adult capable of living on his own. He can't have been perfect all his life, perhaps it might help to think of something stupid he did in his past, that you don't keep on about, and remind him of that? The next few days are going to be an emotional roller coaster, so look after yourself, and if it all gets too much, remember my bubble bath, cocoa and early night prescription! Take care.