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I feel lost - Carers UK Forum

I feel lost

For anyone who is bereaved or no longer providing care.
Thank you for the kind replies. It was reassuring to know that I am not alone despite the fact that you think you are the only one in this situation. It is only now that I have the time to go online and read other inspiring stories and others that need help. Everything is still raw and can't stop crying even when typing this message as I know she's at peace but am still angry, upset and lost and feel guilty that I know she would want me to move on but it's easier said than done.

I feel lost
by Di_15071 » 07 Jul 2015 09:59

Hi, I am Di and new to this site but am willing to try anything at the moment. I lost my partner of 23 years recently after caring for her for eighteen months. She passed peacefully away at home with me holding her hand as she slipped away, During this time I cared for her having taken time off from work.I know she is at peace but I now feel totally lost , without a meaning to go forward and don't know what to do. I try and keep busy and sort things out but every day I start with a list and get nowhere as everywhere I look or touch reminds me of her. I end up just in a total mess and cry without reason. She was at home for the last few months really poorly and I now find that my life that used to revolve around her and her needs is now empty. I know everybody I speak to says time is a great healer but that's all I have at the moment. Does anyone else feel like this or am i just unable to move on.?
Joined: 07 Jul 2015 09:43
Hi Di
I know how your feeling right now, I lost my husband 16wks ago, I can not tell you it is any easier right now , I still cry at silly things & feel as if there is a big hole in my life , but I keep going because I know I have to & will feel alive again but in a different way , little steps lead to big stride . Do not hold back your tears , you have lost the person you loved , but also allow your self to laugh at the memories they left . Do not when asked , how are you coping say ''I am ok '' your not so tell the truth , that you have bad day's & some good ones . I found that when I said I am ok, people just presumed I was over my grief . I received so much support from this forum , so when you need to talk ,log in & poor your heart out , every one on here has lost a loved one they cared for , so they have been where you are right now & understand how you feel . All the best love ,my heart & thoughts are with you . Pat x
I would say OK to most people. To the ones who knew what a clise couple we were, I would say "Muddling along as best I can." That says it all really. For the moment, concentrate on self preservation.
Yes, Di, it is certainly easier said than done. I don't know what the answer is either, I lost my mum almost six months ago and sometimes I feel as if I am moving on, other times I feel as if it happened yesterday. I think there is a caree-shaped hole in our lives that maybe will never be filled entirely.

Having said that, I do feel that we owe it to them to create new memories and to live life as they would have wished.

Not easy, but we will learn to live with it as we have no real choice.

Sending ((hugs))' anne