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I don't think I can cope without mum - Page 5 - Carers UK Forum

I don't think I can cope without mum

For anyone who is bereaved or no longer providing care.
I think we'll all be with you today, I know I will, not in person but in our thoughts and, as Rosemary says, if you have time, please let us know how you are later.

Love

Annie
Hi Ringty
I have just checked if you have lived in that house for 30 years and you were the only one at home caring for your mum.
And no will was written then you have more rights to the house than your other siblings.
A friend of ours was in the same position he lived with his mum and was her only carer when his mum died his sister and his brother wanted him out just like you the funeral hadn't even taken place when he was told to get out after looking after his mum all those years on his own.
There was no will he went to a solicitor and at then end of the day it was decided he had the right to stay there until he could sort himself out but his brother and sister appealed against the decision and lost.
The new decision was he inherited the bungalow and they got nothing.
So there is hope for you don't let them bully you just stand firm.
They have very little rights you are a occupier that are not.
Possession is nine tenths of the law.
Kind regards John
Hello Everybody!

I managed to stay calm yesterday until the music started playing, but still think I managed quite well. However, this morning I have got this overwhelming sense of panic washing over me. In my head everybody on Tv and around me has partners, children, families except for me. The majority of my family (my mum's family) live in Sheffield and they all seem to be fairly close so I just feel like the odd one out.

I am going to stay with one of my sisters today. I sort of don't want to but on the other hand I don't want to be left on my own when everybody goes home. I am suppose I am going to have to deal with it at some time. I just hate this feeling and wish it would go away. I am also wary that I am going to be stuck with my sister while she is going on about getting me out of the house. In the meantime, I am worried that my other sister, who lives in the same town as me is going to come round and change the locks while I am away. However, I know I am letting my mind run riot because she hasn't got a front door key and my next door neighbour says she will keep an eye on things.

Thanks John for your reply - there does seem to be some hope after all and things aren't set in stone. I will have to try and get in touch with somebody legal. I tried this on Tuesday but the solicitor just said "everything has to be split evenly 3 ways - I will sort out the probate for you"

Many thanks continuing to help me and offer support - I really appreciate it!
Hi Rintyg,

I'm glad you got through the day OK, it must have been very emotional.

I hope things aren't too fraught at your Sisters, pop back on when you get back.

Take care

Paula xx
I seem to recall someone in a similar situation was advised of their rights by a housing officer - on the grounds that keeping the person from being forced out of their home was better than several years on the waiting list for a suitable property!
Sorry missed you before you went away to your sisters.

Like Paula said come back t us when you return home.Hope all goes well

Rosemary
x x x

.
Hi Rintyg,
Hope you are Ok and have something sorted out.
Please let us know how you are doing.

((((hug))))
Hi everybody - I am back.

I have been ok while I have been away from "the situation" but as soon as the realisation of coming home hit me, I started to get upset. My sister literally drove me home (5 hours) went to the toilet and then drove back to her house. I thought she might stay with me overnight or something but she didn't want to.

I know I will have to get used to being on my own but I wish I was included in my sister's lives, even if it was just somebody to go window shopping with. They just said that they have their own lives and I will have to start doing things on my own.

My sister said that I was being selfish when I cried because I am crying for myself and not for my mum. I know this but I am crying because I miss my mum. I want to believe that she is with my dad and happy but my sister said I am being stupid because mum is dust now.

I have at least got my pets back from the kennels now and I think they are relieved at being home. At least they are one bit of normality that I have got.
Welcome back Rintyg,

Just take one day at a time and dont expect too much of yourself.
Have you made any decisions about going back to work yet?

x x
Welcome home Rintyg, I'm sure your lovely animals will be so pleased to see you back home.

Give Gina an email when you get time, she's experienced exactly the feelings you're having now - she'd love to hear from you.

Take care

Paula xx