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I don't think I can cope without mum - Page 4 - Carers UK Forum

I don't think I can cope without mum

For anyone who is bereaved or no longer providing care.
Yes, I went to the doctors. He sent me for a chest x-ray and blood tests. He said I might receive a call to go and have a blood transfusion but I don't really think that I will need one.

I am dreading tomorrow. I don't know whether to go and stay with my sister after the funeral given what happened yesterday. After all, what if I am stuck at the other end of the country with her and she keeps going on about me leaving home? I just don't know what to do.

What a mess! Just as I thought I was beginning to see light at the end of the tunnel and start to accept mum going. I know she would be so upset about what is going on and that upsets me too.
It never fails to amaze me how callous some people can be - you're grieving and they're trying to evict you.

Please get some legal advice as soon as possible, this is the last thing you need.

We'll all be thinking of you at your Mum's funeral.

Post when you can.

Take care

Paula xx
Thinking of you at this difficult time.

Theres no rush, lots of legal things to be done patiently, and this will all take time. Try to be strong, and accept that in this situation you may not be able to fight the outcome, but as the occupant you cannot be forced out until the legal work has been duly completed, and that takes months, sometimes a year or more. You are in charge.

I am still waiting for the outcome of a complex will over two years after a relative died !

Politely explain that if there is any major confrontation, the legal fees will eat much of the estate anyway, with no benefit to anyone. That should make everyone think very carefully before being silly.
I dont know if you will see this before the service Rintyg.I have been searching for the words to say to try help you through it.Nearest I have found is this and I have adapted it slightly as it comes from us all.We cant send you a card or flowers but we can send you our love.

We'll Be Here

We cannot ease your aching heart,
Nor take your pain away;
But let us stay and take your hand
And walk with you today.

We'll listen when you need to talk,
We'll wipe away your tears;
We'll share your worries when they come,
We'll help you face your fears.

We're here and we will stand by you,
On each hill you have to climb;
So take our hand, let's face the world...
And live just one day at a time.

You're not alone, for we're still here,
We'll go that extra mile;
And when your grief is easier,
We'll help you learn to smile!

Awwwwww! Thanks for thinking of me everybody. I just thought I would pop onto the forum now I have finished all my hoovering etc. Thanks for the lovely poem and the words of advice. I suppose it is like somebody else said - you can't sell 2/3 of a house, and for the moment at least, I am still in the house. There is part of me that expects somebody to change the locks while I am away after the funeral. I don't want to be away too long but I have now totally lost all the trust I had in my sisters. I don't think I will ever be able to believe anything that they say again.

I am not looking forward to tomorrow - but that is no surprise. No doubt I will get through it and if I do, it will be due to the support I have had from this forum.

I feel like you are all my friends now and I don't think I would have managed so far without you.
Will be thinking of you tomorrow.
keep strong (((hug)))
Thanks Myrtle and everybody. I am dreading it. I will be tearful anyway but then I have to take my pets to the kennels and get ready for people to arrive at the house. I suppose it will be over soon. In a way I want it to be over but in another way I don't even want it to start. I am sure you will all know what I mean.

Thanks for all of your support.
I feel awful this morning. I have been up for hours but my stomach is all churned up. I suppose it is normal but I stupidly thought that I would be able to remain calm. I want to run away. At the moment, I can sort of imagine that mum is still in hospital, even though I am not visiting her but I don't suppose I will be able to do that after today. I am also wound up about going away. I know it is probably the best thing - everybody keeps telling me that it is but I just feel nervous.

My sisters cope by drinking, but I just can't do that - in some ways I wish that I could. I can't even eat - never mind drink. I find it difficult to socialise and make small talk because my head is swimming with mum things and it feels odd being somewhere without her. I still feel like I have to rush home to mum but when I get here, there is nobody waiting for me. My sister said that if her partner died, she wouldn't bother getting another partner and she would be happy to be on her own. I don't think she has got any idea what it is like when there there is nobody to care whether you get home safely or not.

Oh well I don't suppose I can run away, so I am going to have to bite the bullet and prepare for people to arrive. I have also got to get the animals ready for the kennels - today is not going to be a good day! Image
Morning Rintyg,

We will be thinking of you today.
I know its asking a lot of you but if you could find 2 minutes later tonight just to come on and let us know how you are.

x x

Hi Ringty l will be thinking of you today just stay strong l know its easier said than done
but hang on in there
take care