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Hamster on a wheel - Carers UK Forum

Hamster on a wheel

For anyone who is bereaved or no longer providing care.
Mam sadly gave up her life on 26 August, following 9 days of the best hospital care she has ever had.

Unfortunately I'm left like a hamster on a wheel - running like the clappers and getting no-where fast.

First of all I never knew you had to pay a sizeable deposit (£900 - £1000) up front for the funeral. Money I just didn't have - Social fund only pay out AFTER the funeral, same with the piddly little insurance policies. Rules on pre-paid plans have changed - they're no longer classed as savings - this was not publicised, but seemed to come into being at the same time as funeral directors started demanding the deposit up-front.

Council are playing up about tenancy - we were joint tenants, but due to this "bedroom tax" lark they're playing up about giving me the tenancy, saying I'm unlikely to get a job before April!!!!

So at the moment I'm still having to plough on trying to get ev erything sorted before I even start looking for a job.

Thanks for listening to my witterings! Just needed to off-load!
So sorry for your loss Suban and even more sorry that they pile on the pressure when you're least able to cope!
Off load all you like suban. It is always hard when someone you love dies, but its horrible when jobsworthy officials make it worse.
(((((hugs))))) from me too
So sorry for your loss suban.

If you had a joint tenancy then the landlord should honour that, and worry about the bedroom tax come April. If every single person who is "undercrowded" had to give up their tenancy there will be an awful lot of empty homes and homeless people.

I hope you get the hassles sorted out soon.

My Dad is 92 and I tried to talk about putting something away towards his funeral, as he has no savings, nothing of value and only me to fall back on and I can`t afford it. He says they would bury him for the stink......maybe undertakers who want money upfront have forgotten they pay a large sum every year for insurance against people arranging funerals they then can`t pay for. We are lucky here with our local undertaker as he would rather guide folks to the plain pine coffin and be paid for it, than the oak casket they can`t afford.

Take care.xx
Sorry and sad for your loss, Suban, take one day at a time, small steps.
Take care
It's a good lesson to everyone else, to think about the legacy we leave when we depart this mortal coil, at whatever age. Some people dont make wills, dont save for their funerals, they live life day to day. Ultimately that is their choice, though it might seem selfish to those who have to pick up the pieces. But from what I gather carers or family do not have to make good the deficit: the local authority has to pick up the tab if there are no assets left. And I certainly wouldnt get into debt, or even fret, over it.
suban,i'd shop around,when the mother in law died,she was broke but we found an undertaker that took us on face value and we paid when the grant came through and we all chipped in with the shortfall,i even managed to get some money off denise's sister but i did threaten to pass liability to her because of the wife's alzheimers and that did the trick.
I am very sorry to hear about your mother and am thinking of you.

I wonder if your local council has an infallible crystal ball, their statement that you will not have found employment by April is mere supposition and should not be grounds for denying you the tenancy, neither should assumptions of how you will prioritise your expenditure if you do not find employment, I think many if not most people would put keeping a roof over their head before food and heat.

I would check your tenancy agreement to ascertain what it says about succession to the tenancy in the event of one of the joint tenants dying, you may find that the council does not have legal grounds to deny you the tenancy, the tenancy agreement is legally binding on both parties and the council cannot vary the terms when it suits them.

It would also be worth checking out the availability of one-bedroomed social housing in your area, in many areas there is very limited available one-bedroomed housing in both the social and privately rented sectors, if this is the case it gives you another reason to reject the council's attempt to move you but I would also seek the advice of a housing organisation like Shelter, they have the legal expertise to advise you and may also be able to represent you.

As far as paying for the funeral goes, Scally is correct that the State will pay the cost in certain circumstances, the alternative is to apply to the Social Fund for a Funeral Payment if you meet the qualifying benefits requirement and your mother left insufficient assets to cover the costs, more information can be found here:

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/MoneyTaxAnd ... G_10018660

If you decide to apply for a Funeral Payment I would advise you to get help in completing the form from a welfare rights organisation, if I remember correctly from completing a form for someone else you cannot apply until after the funeral has taken place in which case you will have signed to cover the cost of the Funeral Director so it is very important that the form is completed correctly and you experience no delays.

And I agree with malc, some Funeral Directors are more willing to take people on trust than others.
I would like to offer my condolences too Suban and I am sorry to read that you are having to deal with so many problems on top of your loss. Good advice already offered which I hope helps.

Bell x