dear eira,
so sorry for your loss
thinking of you and others so close to loved ones deathday,
its now 2years and 5 months since i lost mr bigbear
( i started bereavement counselling with "mind" last week
its not free but £10 a session
i found first session liberating
lovely that my main purpose
and that of my lovely cousellor was
talkingabout my love for mr bigbear!
i was there to talk about him
in my case the happy memories,
i feel a bit embarrassed talking about mr bigbear
to his friends and my family for mopre than a few minutes
its lovely to have undivided attention
for 50 minutes to do that!)

i'm sorry your mother was so unempathetic over xmas and the new year eira!
must admit my siblings, my parents are both dead,
are fab, but they didnt even respond when i raised a glass to mr bigbear at midnight on nye last year,
this year a cold and choice too meant i spent xmas and new year at my flat!
i think it will take some time till i find a new personal way of enjoying these times,
i find mr bigbears birthday andour wedding anniversary anniversary and mr bigbears deathday for me are best spent with good friends of mr bigbear,
i'm not much good at giving advice as i'm still trying things out!!!
i've found a bond with other widows,
online and in my locality and friends in other towns!
anyway i best stop rabbiting!
hope some of this is interesting!!
lol, if not you deserve a cuppa for ploughing through it!
i too found advice by others excarers in this little thread most useful!!!
love hugs sincere condolences affectionate smiles and respect
bigbear x