Re: Cruse Bereavement
Posted: Fri Oct 11, 2019 9:34 pm
Thanks, good rules, but I can't take drugs. It's something I never do.bowlingbun wrote: ↑Fri Oct 11, 2019 8:52 pmBrian, maybe this isn't the right time for counselling?
I wasn't ready to talk for a long, long time after I was widowed, but still a carer for mum and son.
Perhaps my way of dealing with things might suit you?
Rule 1. Go out every day, even if it's for an hour. Do not allow yourself to be a recluse, but if going places where you are known and people want to talk about mum, go to the next town where no one knows you.
Rule 2. Accept any invitations, with the proviso that if you feel you can't cope, you will quietly disappear.
Rue 3. Eat. Eat junk, cold pasties, baked beans, rice pudding. At this stage don't worry what you eat, as long as you eat something, because if you don't, you will wake up hungry in the middle of the night when everything is at it's blackest. If you start to cook a meal and then go off it by the time it's ready, eat in a pub or garden centre where someone else has done all the work, you just have to sit down, order it, and eat it!
Rule 4. Allow yourself to cry at night when you are on your own. I actually found that if I cried and cried before I went to bed, I slept better as the crying exhausted me.
Rue 5. If you really can't sleep at all, get something from the doctor to help you relax a bit. Mine gave me Amitryptilene, one tablet knocked me out, half a tablet cut with a pill cutter meant at least I could rest in bed, even if I couldn't always sleep right through.
Rule 6. Be kind to yourself.