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How long does it take. - Carers UK Forum

How long does it take.

For anyone who is bereaved or no longer providing care.
My wife cared for her dad for many years and he enjoyed reasonable health up to his last couple of years. He died in Nov. of last year at age 93.
Naturally she misses him a lot because they were very close and she grieves but what I find difficult is that she can be pretty much ok for weeks then suddenly she stops sleeping..she has days of uncontrollable crying and upset...she talks of not wanting to live.
We have no major issues in our marraige but the smallest of problems seem to start this cycle off.
Is this a natural reaction to the death of a loved one and if it is how long should it last or is there something I should be doing.
I support her as best I can but mostly I feel I'm getting nowhere.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Liam, it's been over 2 years since I lost my Nan(she was like a Mum to me), I still have days like that. There's no set time period for grief, it manifests itself in so many different ways, no 2 people grieve in the same way.
It sounds like you are giving all the love, support and understanding you can to your wife.
Has your wife tried talking to a bereavement counsellor?

Karen
hi Karen...thank you for your reply. I suggested counselling to her and initially she brushed it aside but I have a least gotton her to agree to go if things continue as they are for much longer.
It breaks my heart to see her like this because she's a really good person who does everything she can for those around her...maybe its' partially because she tended to her dad so much and their bond was so close that she is hurting so badly now..I don't know..but I really get scared at times that the bubble will burst and she'll do soemthing drastic.
It's hard to see someone you love hurting so badly.
Yes it is..hopefully things will improve with time..they do say it's the best healer.
You are there being supportive Liam.
it's great to be able to discuss it with others who are there or have been there
Knowing you're not alone helps a great deal.