Carer role ended, how to be a wife

For anyone who is bereaved or no longer providing care.
Hi, this is my first ever post but I have dipped in and out of the forum over the past few years. Hoping for some advice.

I’ve been the carer for my wife for approx 7 years, she has various conditions all of which mainly affect her mobility, leave her in constant pain and reduce energy levels. At the time she got worse I had been made medically redundant from my job so took on the role as carer. We coped, it wasn’t easy sometimes but we got by.

12 months ago she was taken into hospital to come off opioid painkillers, this has resulted in nothing short of a radical change in her health/wellbeing(which is awesome!) for the better as she had begun to experience a lot of side effects after being on the drugs for so many years.

She has improved so much that I’ve gone from 24/7 carer to almost not being needed and I don’t know how to deal with it, I feel as if I’ve lost my job and that I’m no longer ‘needed’. It’s like I’ve lost one person, so a sort of bereavement, but I’ve gained a ‘better’ version of the person she was.

How to I deal with this change in role, I need to go back to ‘just’ being a wife/best friend, what do I do now, do I get a job...how...it’s been years...how does that affect our benefits. Just feel a bit lost at the moment.
There are a few pointers in another thread in this section which may be of assistance here :


https://www.carersuk.org/forum/support- ... pect-31598


In essence , a whole , new , ball game with different objectives ... only you can elect which path to follow.

None are easy , the starting point is where you decide it to be.
Hi Trewern,
Welcome to the forum.

I just wanted to advice you to change your user name, perhaps shorten it to Trewern, to protect your privacy and a potential deluge of unwanted emails.

Melly1 moderator