Hello there!
I was going to start a new thread to say hello to all the older members who remember me, but after reading this thread will put it off for a while.
So many of my feelings have been written in this thread - like others, my Mother died back in January. The time has gone so quickly - 10 months already! I was/am a Carer for my two adult sons as well at the time I was looking after Mum. Then both of my sons seemed to get along quite nicely in their lives, which, I was so, so pleased about, but it left me feeling useless and not quite sure what to do with myself! When I fill in any form where it says 'occupation' - what do I put?
Lethargy - oh my goodness, I do a good bit of lethargic living! The place seemed so empty. I had lots of time to think - and yes, I thought (and still do) - did I do enough for her? Did she know that we loved her? Certain situations and conversations return, giving me cause to doubt the care which I gave her. Strangely enough, I didn't break down at the time and haven't really done so up to present day; think I'm keeping it all in and it seems a lifetime away now.
There have been a few 'comfort' times though.
My Mother was a great believer in TCP. She used it for everything! Dab it on, wipe it on.....whatever. Not so long ago now, my partner and I were in our van travelling to Blackpool for a long weekend, when suddenly....TCP....a strong smell of it! We don't use it; didn't even have any of hers that was left over. It lasted a while then went. Mother loved Blackpool - I like to think she went with us!
That was weird enough, but talking with one of my sons afterwards, he said that he had smelled it too, while standing on his doorstep, waiting to go in.
Lately, I've begun to enjoy the extra time - Bryn, my dog goes for nice long walks and I can stop and enjoy the scenery instead of knowing I have to return by a certain time. Been doing some art work too - spent time on the computer being artistic in Photoshop; did some sewing.......think I've come to the stage where I miss Mum, but still talk with her while I'm doing these other things. Think I'm possibly going ga-ga!
I don't know if I'm going to head for a time when I do break down about her death, but I don't think so - I know she wanted to 'go' and she got her wish.
This is just to join in with this thread and to say that we all must feel the same way and I hope that you all will have some 'comfort' times and begin to enjoy the extra time and space which you have.
with love, Pamela xx
I was going to start a new thread to say hello to all the older members who remember me, but after reading this thread will put it off for a while.
So many of my feelings have been written in this thread - like others, my Mother died back in January. The time has gone so quickly - 10 months already! I was/am a Carer for my two adult sons as well at the time I was looking after Mum. Then both of my sons seemed to get along quite nicely in their lives, which, I was so, so pleased about, but it left me feeling useless and not quite sure what to do with myself! When I fill in any form where it says 'occupation' - what do I put?
Lethargy - oh my goodness, I do a good bit of lethargic living! The place seemed so empty. I had lots of time to think - and yes, I thought (and still do) - did I do enough for her? Did she know that we loved her? Certain situations and conversations return, giving me cause to doubt the care which I gave her. Strangely enough, I didn't break down at the time and haven't really done so up to present day; think I'm keeping it all in and it seems a lifetime away now.
There have been a few 'comfort' times though.
My Mother was a great believer in TCP. She used it for everything! Dab it on, wipe it on.....whatever. Not so long ago now, my partner and I were in our van travelling to Blackpool for a long weekend, when suddenly....TCP....a strong smell of it! We don't use it; didn't even have any of hers that was left over. It lasted a while then went. Mother loved Blackpool - I like to think she went with us!

Lately, I've begun to enjoy the extra time - Bryn, my dog goes for nice long walks and I can stop and enjoy the scenery instead of knowing I have to return by a certain time. Been doing some art work too - spent time on the computer being artistic in Photoshop; did some sewing.......think I've come to the stage where I miss Mum, but still talk with her while I'm doing these other things. Think I'm possibly going ga-ga!
I don't know if I'm going to head for a time when I do break down about her death, but I don't think so - I know she wanted to 'go' and she got her wish.
This is just to join in with this thread and to say that we all must feel the same way and I hope that you all will have some 'comfort' times and begin to enjoy the extra time and space which you have.
with love, Pamela xx