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Carers UK Forum • Bereavement
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Bereavement

Posted: Thu Jul 11, 2019 11:38 pm
by Jayne_19011
Hi all I sadly lost my mom on the 5th ov July I cared for her 4 over 20 plus years I'm thinking now cud I av done more 4 her I miss her so much xx

Re: Bereavement

Posted: Fri Jul 12, 2019 7:41 am
by Ayjay
Sorry to hear of your loss, it's never an easy time.

I dare say that we could always do more, but there has to be a line drawn somewhere otherwise we stop being who we are and just become some robot zombie whose only purpose is to keep someone else content, don't beat yourself up about it.

Re: Bereavement

Posted: Fri Jul 12, 2019 7:48 am
by bowlingbun
Jayne,

I'm sorry to hear that you have lost your mum. I'm sure you always did the very best you did for your mum.
The feelings that you are having are completely NORMAL, it's all part of the grieving process.

Having lost my husband suddenly, and all four parents, please be really, really kind to yourself.
Mum is at peace, and there is no need to put yourself under any pressure any more. For the next couple of weeks, just focus on what you have to do, one day at a time.

If there is anything we can help you with, about the formalities, or anything else, just ask.

Re: Bereavement

Posted: Fri Jul 12, 2019 8:33 am
by Pet66
Jayne
Sorry to hear you have lost your mum.
I lost my lovely husband in May. Still have occasions where I feel could have done more. I know deep down I did my very best for him, along with my daughters, and whatever we did was for his comfort, and safety. Whatever we did, or didn't do wasn't going to save him. It is normal to have those feelings.
You will be busy with formalities, but please find time for yourself, and be proud of what you did for your mum. Try not to dwell on what you think you should have done. 20 years of caring is very commendable.

Re: Bereavement

Posted: Sat Jul 13, 2019 2:01 pm
by Jayne_19011
Thank u 2 everybody who replied it brings ma a little comfort my moms funeral will b on the 25th ov July me n my family r gonna give her the best possible send off I will keep posting xx

Re: Bereavement

Posted: Mon Jul 15, 2019 10:03 am
by Lizzie Carers UK
Hi Jayne, Really sorry to hear about your loss. I hope you're getting some sort of support during this difficult time. As the other forum members said, try not to dwell on any feelings of regret or be hard on yourself. You are only one person, after all. I hope the funeral goes well.