Probably too late to do anything now but.....

All about money
Hi everyone, I'm a bit embarrassed to ask about this, I feel like I've been taken for a fool and probably lied too. Since my husband had an accident in 1996 I have been his "carer" (or at least that's what I now call myself). He needs help 7 days a week and for 20 years I've done my best, though it is getting harder as we both get older.
Anyhow, in all this time I have never claimed anything for myself for my role as carer (or for anything else for that matter) the only benefits coming in have been in my Husbands name.
I spoke to the DWP a few years ago (CAB advised me too) and they said if I claimed we would be worse off as my husband would lose money from the benefits he receives, so we just gave up, but the more I read the more I think we've been cheated.
For around 15 years we got Incapacity benefit at the standard rate plus DLA (high rate mobility,low rate care). For the last 5 years we've been getting ESA, first on "work related activity" group then in "support" group. And since last March we've been getting PIP at the high rate for both mobility and care.
Its been hard to manage at times, especially when the bedroom tax hit us, but there's nothing we could do (or so I was told).
Now that we get PIP we can manage better but I still feel like we've been cheated, or am I being selfish ? I certainly don't want to appear greedy ! but I keep reading about other people getting much much more than us.
Benefit system is a complete maze so you will need professional advice.

CarersUK have a free helpline, details on this link
https://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advice/talk-to-us

You can email them too if unable to get through
advice@carersuk.org

If you are under pension age there is carers allowance but again it will also depend on other benefits coming in, as if hubby receives anything for you it could be reduced/withdrawn.

Local CAB and welfare rights offices can help too.

x x
Lots of things have changed in the last 20 years! Firstly, make sure you now sort out your National Insurance contributions record. For a few years now, it's been possible to claim contributions as a carer, even if you haven't been in receipt of Carers Allowance.
Then ask Social Services to do a needs assessment for your husband, and a Carers Assessment for you. Rules have changed recently, and if your husband is assessed as needing a lot of care, then they will work out how much that would cost for an agency to provide. Then they should give you the option of Direct Payments. He may then be able to pay you. The rules have changed recently about paying family members, my own authority is completely confused about them, but DP's MAY be an option for you now.