Please help

All about money
Please could you advise me,

I am currently a full time carer for my mum, I have been for many years, I am a single mum with two children and currently claim carers allowance and income support.

My father has recently been diagnosed terminally ill :( he owns his home but has no savings and has recently been put onto pip and universal credit. He is very poorly and has carers coming in numerous times a day as well as district nurses. He is going to need me to move in with him within the next few months in order to be there during the night time in case he needs support, so I will still be caring for my mum, as well as caring for my dad. What I don’t know and what I need help with is how this will affect my own income and how I will pay for what myself and my children will need. I have phone contracts and catalogues etc that will still require payments and I will need to pay towards bills, for food and to provide clothes etc for my kids. I understand it’s not an ideal situation for the kids but my dad wishes to be at home and I need to do the best I can to support everyone x thank you for any help you can give me x

Welcome and I am sorry to hear of your circumstances and in particular your father's Dx.

Going back to your original question there is a calculator you can use to figure out what you should be getting - it will also include things like eligibility for council tax reduction etc

Because children are involved in the calculation i have to encourage you to check there because the waters get a little muddied compared to for example a standard claim for a single person or couple.

If I might be so bold I have a question of sorts,

Assuming your father is receiving care package funded by local authority (set up via a social worker) I wonder if he might qualify instead for NHS continuing healthcare, which is a funding for care needs paid for by the NHS (which unlike local authority, is not means tested against income/assets etc)

He would likely be fast tracked to be assessed for CHC if eligible due to terminal illness.
If your mother also requires care it is worth checking her eligibility as well. ... life-36132 (thanks Chris)

Of course disregard this if he is already in receipt of it.


With the upmost respect, I know you wish to spend as much time with your father as you can while he is able but it should not fall on you with your little ones to fill the vacuum of care. I lost my own father several years ago to a short illness (passed away 2 weeks into the first month of 12 he was given) and in that short time alone I would not wish the things I had witnessed on young eyes, it was hard enough for grown up ones which have seen their share of death already.

You can also try contacting CUK directly to see if there are other avenues of support available to you

Best wishes to you/your family in this difficult time


p.s. I know we probably aren't supposed to respond here but I was passing through and not saying nothing to somebody that needs urgent help did not agree with me
Thanks for your quick reply honey, I really appreciate it. I’ve just done the calculation website and it says my payments will stay they same, I may try and contact welfare rights, see if they can confirm things for me x

I do appreciate what you are saying about the children, my mind has been there a lot already but they are seeing my dad on a daily basis already, with what I am having to do and at least if we were staying there they could go to bed or be more settled with earlier nights x it’s not feasible for my siblings to move in instead and my dad is autistic, he would really struggle being in a hospice or hospital. I have spoken to friends and family and they have said when the time comes the children can stay with them for a few days, so many emotions :( just trying to do the best I can with what’s going on x

I think my dad’s district nurses may have already put in for the continued health care assessment, we filled one out a few days ago, they said the funding comes from a different pot and it may help? X

thank you again for such a quick reply x
On the CHC / NHS Continuing Healthcare front.

Main thread ... also appears in the thread link provided by Honey Badger : ... read-35998

NOT an easy read but ... colour coded to help find what any reader is looking for.

Feel free to bounce any questions / queries off us ... we'll do our best to answer them.


I assume the maximum amount payable under PIP is being paid ?

Daily living component.

Standard rate - £58.70.
Enhanced rate - £87.65.

Mobility component.

Standard rate - £23.20
Enhanced rate - £61.20
I am really concerned that you are rushing to the wrong decisions, which could end up disastrously.
You could even end up homeless!
Please be very, very careful about what you do, or you could regret it forever.

Do you currently live in your own home, or rented? re you planning to keep this when caring for dad?
How will that affect the children's friendships and schooling?
What is wrong with mum, how old is she, does she own or rent her home?
Does dad live with mum?
If not, where does dad live?
Where will you and your children live when you are caring for dad, and after he has died?
After dad has died, is it realistic for mum to live alone?

Dad might be autistic, but he is now terminally ill. I've seen my dad, one of the government's top research scientists, wither and die from prostate cancer. The need for 24 hour nursing care and pain relief is paramount. If there is a local hospice, I suggest you talk to them yourself to find out what support is available for dad, initially at home, so that when he needs residential care in the hospice, they will be well prepared to meet his needs. Have you ever been in the hospice? If not, please visit as soon as possible.