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Carers UK Forum • Main carer just being diagnosed with cancer, what next?
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Main carer just being diagnosed with cancer, what next?

Posted: Wed Oct 31, 2018 11:25 am
by Ronald_1804
Hello,
My father is the main carer for my mum following a stroke last year. I have helped with most of the paperwork for benefits. Last week my father was diagnosed with prostate cancer and I don't know how much longer he can care for mum. What information is there for this kind of situation? Many thanks.

Re: Main carer just being diagnosed with cancer, what next?

Posted: Wed Oct 31, 2018 11:37 am
by Chris From The Gulag
Hi Ronald ... sorry to learn of your father's condition.

As a carer , I will assume that he will be unable to care ?

If so , a replacement family carer ?

If not , my recommendation would be to approach the local LA for a Needs Assessment ... for both parents ... as a first step.

Thereafter , the question of caring.

If external , and perhaps through the LA as a direct result of the Needs Assessments , a question of charges ... depending on the financial circustances.

MoneyAdviceService web site for the FULL sp on that aspect :

https://www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk/e ... ment-works

Possibility of CHC / NHS Continuing Healthcare down the line ?

https://www.carersuk.org/forum/support- ... inks-32532


On the benefits / allowances front , an Online Benefits Checker to ensure that everything available out there is currently being claimed ... AA / CA / Housing Benefit ( If tenants ) / Council Tax Discount etc. etc. :

https://www.entitledto.co.uk/

The above should be enough for you to consider the way forward ... even more so once those Needs Assessments have been carried out.

Re: Main carer just being diagnosed with cancer, what next?

Posted: Wed Oct 31, 2018 11:51 am
by bowlingbun
My dad had prostate cancer, there is a Prostate Cancer Charity, give them a call and talk to them about how the illness progresses.

What treatment has been recommended?

How old are your parents, and what care does mum need. I'm sure they don't want any "outsiders" coming in, but they are going to have to accept this. The more help they accept, the longer they can be together. You are going to have to be VERY firm on this.

If mum has had a stroke, presumably the house is already adapted for bathing etc.?

As soon as possible, make sure they have both written wills, Power of Attorney for you, and you encourage dad to bring together all his financial papers, bank statements, insurance policies, etc. etc. into one place and you go through them together.

My dad had a maths degree, and was one of the government's top scientists, he always seemed to be on top of their finances, but after he died, I quickly realised that at some stage his reasoning had become impaired.

My disabled mum always left dad to deal with this side of things. As I had a degree and ran a small business for years, I was left to deal with their money.....and had the difficult job of telling mum that the reason her bank card didn't work was because the account was EMPTY and that dad hadn't been paying off the Access accounts (one each) in full every month, but just the minimum payment! A considerable sum was owed!!!

It was a very difficult time for me, I sorted everything out, but I never properly grieved for dad, who was always kind to me.

Re: Main carer just being diagnosed with cancer, what next?

Posted: Wed Oct 31, 2018 11:55 am
by Chris From The Gulag
Yes ... one aspect I forget to mention ... housing / potential move into a care home.

Allied with the possibility of CHC / NHS Continuing Healthcare down the line.

If you need them , I will post the important links across that whole minefied.

Are your parents already on AGE UK's radar ?

Re: Main carer just being diagnosed with cancer, what next?

Posted: Wed Oct 31, 2018 12:10 pm
by bowlingbun
What is their financial position? Do they own their house? Have over £46,000 in savings between them?

Future care planning will depend largely on their financial situation.

If mum will not be able to stay in her own home after your father's death (apologies, I know how upsetting it is to think of this, but you are going to be the one wearing the "Practical Hat" from now on) then it might be the least traumatic for all concerned if they moved into a care and nursing home towards the end of dad's life, so they both got the care they both needed, together.

On the other hand, if they are very comfortably off, they could have a "live in nurse" to deal with both.

Social Services should do an up to date Needs Assessment for both of them, and Carers Assessment for dad. Make sure that you are present when these are done, parents sometimes don't realise just how much care they need, and will say what they used to do, rather than they can actually do now!!!