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Do I need to inform anyone? - Carers UK Forum

Do I need to inform anyone?

All about money
I currently care for my girlfriend, she has extremely bad epilepsy and mental
Health issues with that being the case I have to be at her house a lot of the time, I’m not living there but there often because she needs a lot of help. Do I need to inform anyone about me being there? I don’t claim any Carers benefits as I have my own job.
Any reply is greatly appreciated thanks
Hi Bob
It might be useful to inform your girlfriend's GP that you are her main carer. It makes sharing info a bit easier and you might get appointment's a bit quicker..
I don't really see the need to inform Social services unless either of you feel you could benefit from their input.
Do you work full time or part time? I only ask because if you are juggling part time work with care it may be worth looking into carers allowance a none means tested benefit.
Thinking again, it might be helpful if your GF had a SS Needs assessmnet as they can check she is in receipt of all appropriate benefits if she hasn't already done this.
If she is receiving benefits, you do need to be careful about the number of nights you are there, or she might be termed as co habiting, ie. living with someone else. Don't leave too much of your stuff there, so that in the case of an unannounced visit, it would be clear you didn't live there. (A friend of mine used to work for DWP!)
Hi Bob,
my wife has severe epilepsy with regular seizures and like you I also work. There is support out there if her epilepsy is severe but like anything nobody tells you. If you earn over £120 a week then it's unlikely you'll get carers allowance which is very unfair as is the amount of this benefit at £64 a week which is terrible and really needs uprating to the living wage. If your partner is of working age she should be getting PIP (if her epilepsy is uncontrolled) and maybe ESA but again this will depend on her National Insurance record.
My Mother-In-Law used to help us out with care but when she was diagnosed with Brain Cancer I had to ask for extra support from Social Services, this meant a care needs assessment being done, the result of this was a care package which gave us the care my wife needed while allowing me to continue working. Here's the link, in South Derbyshire they have been brilliant but other councils may vary, before you go down this road it's best to get PIP sorted out first, as now the councils can see every benefit your on to check entitlement (although good in a way as they can check your partner is getting everything she'd be entitled too) which a lot of people don't realise. As the last reply if she is on means-tested benefits you need to be careful as living together will have an effect on things as they count your earnings with means tested ESA or Universal Credit/housing benefit. If the DWP's believe you are living together (when you've declared you're not) and prove it you will have to pay back a fair bit of money and usually fined in the process so it's best being honest from the start. They do have various ways of gathering evidence including monitoring the actual address. If your Girlfriend is on ESA in the support group this isn't normally affected by the partners income (unless you have add prems) PIP is also none means-tested. If I can help any more just ask https://www.gov.uk/apply-needs-assessme ... l-services
Thanks for all your reply’s. This is what I’m worried about I don’t want them thinking we co habbiting. Recently things has got worst for her not only has she got epilepsy, she has starting hearing voices! which is so distressing for her she has a lot of
Panic attacks because of it. I scared to cut the amount of time I’m there incase something happens, I already spend a lot of the day away because I work full time which I’ve cut down to be there more but at the same
Time I don’t want anyone thinking I’m living there. If I’m honest it’s not like a relationship with us anyone Ive literally turned into her career 😔 I don’t want anything to happen all because I can’t be there incase I’m accused of living there.
Hi Bob,
do you think you'll eventually move in with your girlfriend? which benefits are you worried about?. She sounds a very lucky person to have you looking after her, like I said before there is support out there for when you're working, it depends what you both want at the end of the day relationship wise if you don't want a relationship try and point your friend into having a care needs assessment done.. What type of epilepsy does your girlfriend have? my wife has complex partial and as you describe she can have strange seizures. I hope she gets some gaps between good/bad days, it isn't an easy condition to manage, if there's no love between you the relationship won't work, you mustn't feel you have to be a carer and sometimes it's hard to accept that. Caring is a long term role effects people in different ways, you need to be a strong person and be able to handle most things although with severe epilepsy things are much more difficult and unpredictable as i'm sure you know.
As long as you keep your stuff at your place - and I'd strongly recommend keeping a place of your own - you have nothing to fear. I know that they have a Fraud Department, which may check for men's washing on the line, shaver in the bathroom, etc. An overnight bag is a different thing.

However, I would urge you to avoid getting dragged into this situation any further.

Your friend should be having a Needs Assessment from Social Services. Otherwise, you are going to end up with a job for life, caring for her, even if this has never ever been your intention.
You have been warned!
I’m not being dragged into anything, I’m very aware of the situation and love her very much. I’m not going to bail on her just because she’s disabled or unwell, she’s the one pushing me away because she see’s herself as a-burden.
I know she claims pip and esa I just don’t want to be giving her anymore stress. She won’t trust or allow strangers in the house she doesn’t even like opening the front door.
She has three different types of epilepsy and serve mental health problems

I have my own address was just trying to find out if I needed to tell anyone I’m her Carer and that why I’m there as much as I am, because I keep hearing all these horror story’s about how the groverment are doing everything they can and use towards taking money off disabled people.
Hi Bob,
she certainly won't loose any pip if you did move in eventually as that's none means tested, ESA is different if she's in the support group without any premiums that she won't loose anything however if she's on the income related ESA then if you do live together they will count your income and savings as they would for any housing benefit she may get.
I don’t think we are ready to live together right now but I appreciate all of your help. I’m just so new to all this and didn’t know the steps to follow.