Hi, I am in a bit of a dilemma (again) after my father having lost more mobility and an increase in incontinence issues since his recent hospital stay. (He now has a catheter but needs assistance with this and bowel management.)
Before this latest hospital visit he was able to walk 100 yards or so twice a day with me locally to the house with his sticks and also short trips around the local town, (when we were not in lockdown.) He was able to move about the house OK, get up to bed with my assistance and the stair lift and we had a private morning carer who was hired to give me a lie in. I was able to cope with his urine incontinence (just) and his personal care, but we both just ‘worked around it’ out of necessity really. (Neither of us was 100% comfortable with it, but needs must and all that.)
Sadly, since my father’s return he is now confined to living in the front room. He has a hospital bed, a commode (pads 24x7, but he had this pre hospital but for urine incontinence only, now he has bowel incontinence too…) and he is 100% reliant on us for EVERYTHING…
The poor chap is at his wits end (and totally depressed, despite wanting to come home) as his sight and hearing (which were impaired before hospital visit) seem to have worsened too!
He was discharged with 4 x paid for carers from Adult Social Services (Renablement service) but.. after the discharge team promising me that anyone being discharged gets ‘up to six weeks’ FREE care, they then threw a curve ball and said after two weeks we have to start paying (as my father is over the threshold and has savings to pay for it.) It is not cheap for one but also I feel we were lied to to get him out of hospital!
I am speaking to the Community District Nurse on Monday and will request a CHC assessment for my father, but it is bringing me down too to have to constantly battle with these people!
Back to the question in hand…
If we are refused CHC, I think it is important for my father’s welfare that we sort out a small team of regular carers to take care of his new needs. I really don’t want to be paying an agency (or even private carers) £20 per hour as I feel he will still need 4 visits a day to do his incontinence management. (I truly cannot do it, I have tried but I feel ill and it is not pleasant for him either to have me feeling so out of sorts about it, as well as his dignity left in tatters.)
So I am in a strange place of having to work out what it will cost, how I can arrange it privately and keep everyone happy.
I think bowlingbun? Said I have to focus on his NEEDS not his WANTS… But I am not sure if this is leaning towards a residential home, where they can assist him with his toileting 24x7, or trying to keep him comfortable at home…
(At least we are talking about it together, but it is extremely difficult for both of us. I am going to ask MIND if they can come for a visit, if they are able to during lockdown…)
NB He is over the threshold for automatic assistance and if the CHC element is not granted, he will have to be 100% self funded.
Before this latest hospital visit he was able to walk 100 yards or so twice a day with me locally to the house with his sticks and also short trips around the local town, (when we were not in lockdown.) He was able to move about the house OK, get up to bed with my assistance and the stair lift and we had a private morning carer who was hired to give me a lie in. I was able to cope with his urine incontinence (just) and his personal care, but we both just ‘worked around it’ out of necessity really. (Neither of us was 100% comfortable with it, but needs must and all that.)
Sadly, since my father’s return he is now confined to living in the front room. He has a hospital bed, a commode (pads 24x7, but he had this pre hospital but for urine incontinence only, now he has bowel incontinence too…) and he is 100% reliant on us for EVERYTHING…
The poor chap is at his wits end (and totally depressed, despite wanting to come home) as his sight and hearing (which were impaired before hospital visit) seem to have worsened too!
He was discharged with 4 x paid for carers from Adult Social Services (Renablement service) but.. after the discharge team promising me that anyone being discharged gets ‘up to six weeks’ FREE care, they then threw a curve ball and said after two weeks we have to start paying (as my father is over the threshold and has savings to pay for it.) It is not cheap for one but also I feel we were lied to to get him out of hospital!
I am speaking to the Community District Nurse on Monday and will request a CHC assessment for my father, but it is bringing me down too to have to constantly battle with these people!
Back to the question in hand…
If we are refused CHC, I think it is important for my father’s welfare that we sort out a small team of regular carers to take care of his new needs. I really don’t want to be paying an agency (or even private carers) £20 per hour as I feel he will still need 4 visits a day to do his incontinence management. (I truly cannot do it, I have tried but I feel ill and it is not pleasant for him either to have me feeling so out of sorts about it, as well as his dignity left in tatters.)
So I am in a strange place of having to work out what it will cost, how I can arrange it privately and keep everyone happy.
I think bowlingbun? Said I have to focus on his NEEDS not his WANTS… But I am not sure if this is leaning towards a residential home, where they can assist him with his toileting 24x7, or trying to keep him comfortable at home…
(At least we are talking about it together, but it is extremely difficult for both of us. I am going to ask MIND if they can come for a visit, if they are able to during lockdown…)
NB He is over the threshold for automatic assistance and if the CHC element is not granted, he will have to be 100% self funded.