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Help! Please can anyone help me to find support/advice - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

Help! Please can anyone help me to find support/advice

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
Nana needed help with her disabled husband, so she could supervise.
You need to consider how to monitor/supervise at a distance?
Yes I am aware of that bowlingbun. Every single post you have posted on this thread has been either negative or unconstructive. I was so surprised to find this on a forum of this type that I've just searched your user name and its a theme that appears to run through all of your posts on almost all of the threads you have responded to. You may want to reflect upon your posting tone and attitude because in time of crisis no one needs to be told the task ahead is difficult when they almost certainly realise it anyway. it is very upsetting to come back to the thread in the hope there is a helpful and constructive answer to just see more of this.

I asked a very specific question so I don't need to be told very obvious things like good carers are in short supply, the existence of pedant alarms (which wouldn't work in this case) or unhelpful comments about needing to monitor at a distance. Do you think I'm not aware of this? Do you seriously think that anyone who loved their relative and was looking for a carer would not realise the importance of ensuring care provided was of a good standard and considered whether and how it was capable of monitoring?

If you really thought it was useful to raise something very obvious that is removed from the question asked - a helpful post would have been something like- "you probably realise that you will need to monitor at a distance. have you thought about this? Possible things we found helpful were [suggested solutions]. I assume that you are trying to be helpful but please stop posting in this style because it is unpleasant and upsetting.

Please if anyone is able to offer me any help or advice with my original question about the best way about going anyone knows of any other organisations or agencies that assist with direct recruitment of carers do please let me know.
I try to tell everyone the realities of caring, not fairy stories.
Whilst I agree that what you want would be ideal, I'm afraid that you are doomed to disappointment.
I don't want to raise false hopes, but to highlight the pitfalls, give a "reality check".

In total, I have had TEN carees, from newborn to 87.
I could write a book on caring, but am too busy trying to ensure my son is OK.
I've been "signposted" so many times to things that are supposed to be suitable, available, will be perfect, only to be let down.

Social Care is an absolute mess, and we have to do our best to find what DOES work.
So many people coming to the forum have had their lives ruined in various ways after they have had false promises.

My husband DIED from the stress of caring for our mentally handicapped son and all four stubborn elderly parents, whilst we were running a business.
I developed a life threatening illness, my consultant told me that "20 years without a holiday didn't do you any favours".
18 years later I'm still battling with Social Services to get things sorted out for my son so I can finally retire!
This week I've been told my spine is in a terrible condition that I've just been given 20 appointments with the chiropractor.

I was told NEVER to care for anyone ever again, but my mum was housebound and disabled.
I had a head on smash 3 months after I found my husband dead in bed, and was still caring for mum and son in various ways even when I was in constant pain, using walking sticks, waiting for 2 knee replacements.

You are entitled to your opinion of me, I don't mind what you think.
I know how many people have thanked me for my honest opinion, especially allowing them to think "I can't do this any more".

If you do find what you want, I hope you will share your success story with the forum.
When people come to the forum there are many ways to respond. It's possible to be "John Blunt and honest" or to consider someone else's feelings a little more - and still be honest.

People don't come to this forum because they're having a good time. They come because they're stressed out, struggling, in need of support and advice and a bit of TLC.

It's up to all of us to make sure that's what happens, and perhaps to acknowledge that we get it wrong sometimes. Seconds out...no more rounds, thank you very much.
People don't come to this forum because they're having a good time. They come because they're stressed out, struggling, in need of support and advice and a bit of TLC.

Well quite. Thank you Charles. Much appreciated.

Still very keen to hear from anyone who has directly employed a carer and any experiences about places/ways to advertise.
Florence_2204 wrote:
Sat Oct 01, 2022 3:32 pm
thanks bowling but I'm really looking for advice about how to go about directly employing or contracting with carers locally.

Are there agencies that help with this anyone knows of?
Hello Florence

As a starting point I would suggest contacting your local authority - in the past most LA's had a list of carers who could take on private work. They were already vetted by the LA.

I would also recommend checking out "Talking Point" the Alzheimer's Society own forum to see if this subject has been raised there. Alternatively check out if Admiral Nurses are represented in your area - https://www.dementiauk.org/get-support/ ... ral-nurse/ - again they may be able to point you in the right direction.

I wish you good luck in your search as, in my experience, it's not going to be easy to find what you are looking for.
Thank you Susie.

I've already asked the LA about this issue and was told they had no idea how to go about it. I'm inferring that they probably didn't have had a list of carers as I'd have assumed they'd have volunteered it. I will ask again though.

I will check out the Alzheimers Society - thank you for the suggestion. I've had quite a lot of interaction with Admiral and I'm sorry to say I've found them not especially helpful so far - they seem good for people who are just starting out on their interaction with Alzheimers disease and are quite strong on education and support but less so for where the relatives/carers are very familiar with all the literature and ways of supporting a person with Alzheimers.

I wish you good luck in your search as, in my experience, it's not going to be easy to find what you are looking for.

Thank you and thank you for your constructive advice and kindess which I very much appreciate. I know it will be difficult as it's apparent to me from the trouble it took to get anyone to even recommend the carer site linked above! I've asked lots of people and lots of organisations about how to do this and am aware it's unusual.

If I have to pay £1000+++ a week, I would rather pay this whole amount directly to a carer rather than to a company who are creaming off the top. I suppose its about being lucky enough to find someone local-ish who this sort of role would suit. But I need to find out how/where to look for this person first!
I've not had any experience of directly employing a carer, just used agencies which ceased at lockdown for covid.

One thing to consider, which you probably have, is if you employ one person is what about a Plan B if they get ill, want a holiday or find another job and cover over bank holidays, Easter and Christmas/new year.

Caring is not all happy ever after, it does have its challenges and we all cope in different ways and have various preferred approaches from the virtual hugs to the friendly to the blunt and pragmatic.

For myself and just giving a different viewpoint, not wanting any sides or argument here, several years ago if I were in here I would have found Bowlingbuns pragmatic and honest approach very helpful and informative, I find that BB's straightforward style makes it easy to comprehend information when life has gone belly up, cutting through the emotional and getting to the point but that is my preference.

Edit
I forgot to say
Good luck in your search, I hope you find the care you are looking for.
Hello again Hannah

I was thinking about your problem sourcing private carers again last night and thought I'd see if Google could help.

I used the phrase "carers recruitment agencies" and got quite a few hits - some were obviously agencies supplying staff in the public sector (i.e. care homes) but a couple certainly looked as though they might be able to supply private carers - maybe worth you having a look if you have't already done so ?

My other thought was that maybe your local Carers Centre might be able to put you in touch with some ex-carers whose caring "duties" have now ended for one reason or another and who might now be willing to take on paid employment ?