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Having a carer. - Carers UK Forum

Having a carer.

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
This might be a bit of an unusual question but its one i would like an answer to if anyone can help me. I am 54 and have Spina Bifida. I use a wheelchair at all times but live pretty independently and have been for the last 6 years. Recently I have developed some pressure sore issues. While they are being treated at home. Some of the community nurses that visit me keep going on about having a carer and why I don't currently have one. I am pretty independent so I can cook, clean my home and myself, I can do my own laundry and dress myself. I can shop for myself and do this mostly online. I also have a family that see me several times a week and can help me if needed so I don't see what a carer can do for me that i cant do either for myself or with the help of my family. I have community alarm if I run into unexpected difficulties in other ways. My question really is can I be forced legally to get a carer just because i have a disability because I feel very strongly that I am slowly but surely being forced into this by the nurses that are treating my legs and frankly I am finding this pretty upsetting.
Hello & welcome Mark

No one can make you do anything! Speak to the nurses directly and ask them why they keep raising the question. Or speak to their managers and state this is having a negative effect on you. And you wish the nurses to just treat your medical needs. Do you think their concern is you are doing to many tasks. Where you could have extra help to alleviate time it takes to complete a task etc. This is not a criticism on how long someone takes to complete a task which is unique to them.

Be assured I would very much suspected they feel raising the question. Is out of a caring nature respect for you and is good practice. However, you don't need it to be a repetitive question given by more than one individual. People visiting for short time don't always see the overall picture.
Morning Mark
i take my hat off to your independence.
Being an independent person I get it.

They are acting with the best intentions and with a duty of care towards you.

Thank them for their concern and say you appreciate that carers are a limited resource and for now you are manage everything and you have family and your emergency call but if or when anything changes and you need a carer you will let them know.

Don't take offence at this, but speaking as a carer and considering your age, family who are helping you be it siblings or parents are not getting younger and their energy is lessening as will yours over time. Don't let pride and independence prevent easing the load for you all by resisting a carer, recognise when age is affecting you all and be kind to yourself and family and accept a carer.
Wow, being independent in a such situation is very hard, I really admire you.
Hi Mark,

you can't be forced to have paid carers. I suspect they are saying this out of concern because of your pressure sores. Have you received any support or advice on how to limit the chance of getting more eg an OT assessment or an appointment
at the wheelchair clinic to look at improving your seating? Such a proactive approach may shut them up!