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Need a boost, a shoulder, something - Carers UK Forum

Need a boost, a shoulder, something

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
Really rough day. Too tired to go into detail. Tired of trying so hard to get help.
In need of something but I’m not sure what. A few words of comfort maybe? If anyone has some that would help enormously
Thanks x
Hi Karen

I think I understand your message as another week looms here. You're not alone - though by God it certainly feels like it sometimes surely. Stay as safe and well as possible.

Love, David
Karen_2004123456 wrote:
Mon Jan 17, 2022 12:40 am
Really rough day. Too tired to go into detail. Tired of trying so hard to get help.
In need of something but I’m not sure what. A few words of comfort maybe? If anyone has some that would help enormously
Thanks x
Hi Karen. Some days are just horrible. Since my wife had her spinal cord injury there are some days that are relatively easy to deal with, but the others...they're crap. Worse than that. Fortunately the worst days haven't happened for a while, but they involve a lot of intimate personal care. I remember visiting a couple years ago who faced much the same. They'd been married for over 30 years. The wife was cared for by the husband, and she bemoaned the fact that her husband had become her nurse. I remember the words that followed: "There's no mystery left!" Sometimes the mind boggles all on it's own.

Life as a carer is tough. That's why it's really important to talk to someone, contact other carers - they understand, mostly - and ask for help. You are definitely not alone.
Tiredness has always been my biggest enemy, especially when I had three homes to look after. Now I'm nearly 70, increasingly disabled with arthritis, just a part time carer for my son, it's even more an issue.

First step is to admit you are worn out, stop trying to be Superwoman, start demanding help.

With mum, I got to the stage when a voice came into my head saying "I just can't do this any more". Mum went from a 7 month stay in hospital to residential care. Without me, she would have been in residential years previously.

Looking back, I wish I had given up supporting her years earlier. It was too much for too long, I've never really recovered, my son and I were discussing this only last night.

It's OK to admit defeat, that the demands are too great, that your caree needs a team of people 24/7, not one always exhausted carer.
Hi
Sending you a ((((HUG))).
Please explain to your GP, social services. that you are too exhausted to carry on as you are. It's a sign of strength to ask for help, not a weakness , as I once saw it.
Thank you all for your messages
First thing I looked at when I woke & they all really helped

Good to know I’m not alone
Take care all x
Hugs from me too. You are not alone I promise. I agree with the other comments -some days the strongest of us just cannot cope, and need a sympathetic ear and just to feel valued and listened to.