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Duty of care - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

Duty of care

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
Proving that someone doesn't have capacity can be a problem.
Keeping a daily diary of unusual behaviour can help.

I had a lovely sister in law, never a cross word between us.
Her mum and grandmother both had dementia, her biggest fear was that one day she would have it too.

Sadly, in her mid 60's, I began to see warning signs, identical to those I saw in her mum.
She was driving a car, but couldn't remember where the vets was in the town where she worked, and had to get her daughter to show her. One day, she was preparing a meal for us, and taking longer than usual (she used to be organised). I went to see if I could help, and saw her make a fluttery hand movement, just like her mum. My heart sank. It took 3 visits to the doctor before dementia was confirmed, and after she kept going out and getting lost, she moved into residential care before dying at 73 of a stroke.
You will know more than anyone else what is different behaviour for your mum.
Anne001 wrote:
Wed Jan 13, 2021 10:42 am
Hi Jo,

In reality, in these cash-stricken times, it is very often the relatives who have to scream for additional care. The carers are too busy to flag these issues frequently. Mum has the right to decline all support (and live with those consequences) while she has mental capacity. A medical professional would have to determine that she no longer has capacity. I fought with the doctors on my mum's behalf as they insisted she had capacity long after the time when she clearly did not.

The harsh reality is that the care package only increases if you scream loudly enough or if there is a crisis, hospitalisation etc.
Sadly I suspect there will be some sort of crisis. It frustrates me that this could be avoided if mum were to take the decision herself to move. I have made it very clear that if she wants to stay were she that is her decision but I will not help out with her care. I too can be bloody minded I get it from her!