[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/phpbb/session.php on line 585: sizeof(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/phpbb/session.php on line 641: sizeof(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable
Nursing Home Worries - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

Nursing Home Worries

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
The food in my mum's place was wonderful. In the afternoon, they would have a tea trolley come round to those who stayed intheir rooms like mum, with lovely tempting little cakes on a tiered cake stand. Whenever I was there, I could always have a drink and cake too. This was so normal, mum and daughter having tea, cake and a natter. It had little mini lounges where patients and relatives could sit together, and mini kitchens if you wanted to make your own drink. I was only a mile from home, so didn't use these, but great for visitors doing longer distances. They had their own minibuses for trips out, a cookery club, gardening club with a greenhouse, speakers, etc etc. They could not have done more to make the most of things. Sadly, mum refused to leave her room, but she'd seldom left her house for years.
The home mum was in was run by Colten Care. It might help others making what I call "the most difficult decision" to have a look at their website.
Whilst they only operate in and around the New Forest, it will give you a good idea of what is possible not only in terms of the actual fixtures and fittings of the homes you go to look at, but also the underlying principles that Colten apply.
Some of their first homes were adapted existing buildings, but now they have purpose built properties. They take patients funded by NHS Continuing Healthcare, but I don't think they take LA funded patients.
They usually have one or two of the smaller bedrooms reserved for respite care. Mum's room had an ensuite sink and toilet, but not a shower.
They had a very large specially equipped bathroom with facilities so that any patient could have a bath if desired, on a regular basis, but not every day.

On a personal note, I liked the way staff were expected to know who I was when I visited, I seldom had to say I was Elizabeth T's daughter. Staff were also expected to smile and say hello to anyone visiting the home, even if you just passed them in the corridor.
Bowling bun, thank you.
You're wise counsel is helping me steer a course through one of the most difficult times in my life.
I'm still in very choppy waters but I still have a tiny bit of hope.
Just keep sharing your problems here, sometimes just the act of writing thoughts down helps get thoughts in order. One of the problems with taking up a residential placement is that it's a "one way trip".
On the one hand it's good to find somewhere you know will suit mum whatever happens, (my mum told the GP that she never wanted to go to hospital ever again, whatever happens) but then you have to accept that it is her home until she dies. And that is far, far harder still to face.
Once you have explored, and tried, every other option, residential is usually the ONLY option left, which will meet NEEDS, not wants. Don't feel guilty, but very sad, that it's come to this.
Just chipping in to say please don't dismiss nursing homes as all bad, some are amazing, some awful, Because my dad has very difficult needs we saw ALOT of homes and they vary hugely. Do you homework and you WILL find somewhere suitable be it for respite or more permanent. The top advice I was given was to:

turn up unannounced for at least one visit before you decide
as NHShater says, ignore the décor this really is just window dressing and
talk to other visitors/residents about what they think of the care.

It is not an easy decision, it caused us much anguish and heartache and was very time consuming finding the right place, But it was the right decision for us. Good luck
Just wanted to add a bit to this. Putting my mum into a care home was the most difficult thing I think I did but definitely the best thing I ever did. I spent months trying to find the right place and I too wondered what the places were really like. I listened to all the recommendations, visited lots and worried lots too. Taking her there was horrendous but nearly three years later I think I can honestly say that there is no way I could take care of my mum as well as they do.

The one important lesson I learned is that care homes are different and finding the right one for mum was key. She was/is a sociable type and very clean and tidy so I needed to find somewhere that resembled her own home. I visited ones where the staff were lovely but the home was a bit chaotic (lots of "things" around) and I know this would have stressed my mum who still is (despite very advanced alzheimers) a tidy person by nature. Where I've found is fairly small, has lots of quiet areas as well as larger busier ones, has a little coffee shop so we can "go out for a coffee" and where the staff are both respectful and friendly too. The gardens are a joy (mum used to love gardening) and the food is excellent, with choices at all meals of the kind of food my mum has always enjoyed. I am sure the care in some of the other homes is excellent too and all the ones I visited were as a result of personal recommendation but I know the one I chose was exactly right for my mum.

Good luck
bowlingbun wrote:
Tue Dec 19, 2017 7:48 am
The home mum was in was run by Colten Care. It might help others making what I call "the most difficult decision" to have a look at their website.
Whilst they only operate in and around the New Forest, it will give you a good idea of what is possible not only in terms of the actual fixtures and fittings of the homes you go to look at, but also the underlying principles that Colten apply.
Some of their first homes were adapted existing buildings, but now they have purpose built properties. They take patients funded by NHS Continuing Healthcare, but I don't think they take LA funded patients.
They usually have one or two of the smaller bedrooms reserved for respite care. Mum's room had an ensuite sink and toilet, but not a shower.
They had a very large specially equipped bathroom with facilities so that any patient could have a bath if desired, on a regular basis, but not every day.

On a personal note, I liked the way staff were expected to know who I was when I visited, I seldom had to say I was Elizabeth T's daughter. Staff were also expected to smile and say hello to anyone visiting the home, even if you just passed them in the corridor.
thanks
This can only be sorted out when you consider your own life and needs are equally important as hers.
Your caring has to be on your terms, not hers.
She wants you on call day and night as she doesn't like change.
You don't want that. If you love her enough to care for her, she should love you enough to take a break!
It's not about what she wants, but about needs, you need a break!
No not really, nursing homes are not bad as people say, i don’t want to speak in general but almost every homes i worked with were on high level of caring and high quality services for the old people, i started working for nursing homes for almost 3 years, once i finished my CNA classes which i took them when i finished my high school and i was confused of what faculty i should choose, there were many options which made it really difficult to me, i have some tendencies about nursing and my parents encouraged me about it and i wanted to take an idea about it first, so i checked the CNA courses and costs and started online on https://www.cnaclasses101.com/cost/ and started the course as a preparation year before going to nursing faculty.
My mum's nursing home was like a hotel.