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What is your Will? - Carers UK Forum

What is your Will?

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
Do you have a will? And if not, why not?

And do you have a Power of Attorney, in case you get run over by a bus and end up in a coma? And if not, why not?

It's OK: we are all human and like to dig our heads in the sand, and most people have neither. Because they can't imagine a situation in which they lose control of their faculties, flying in the face of the obvious evidence that one day, most of us will be utterly dependent on others. That could be tomorrow, or next month, or five years down the line: all it takes is a half-hearted aneurism or a bus driven badly and: Bingo! we lose mental capacity. For ever.

And that, my friends, is why lawyers live in big houses with two cars, whilst we live from day to day. Because they know you will need them one day, and you ignore the statistical evidence and live in hope that you wont. Image
No Scally i don't have a will.
Why not, probably because i wont allow myself to think about it and im burying my head under the sand.

I actually don't know what will happen to my little boy as his father is a waste of space.
Is it fair to ask my kids ( 18 and 19 ) to take care of him. I think my sister would step in but she has a big family so be very difficult for my little one to adjust.
Food for thought.
Im not sure i want to give them the responsibility. they struggle on very short burst now to look after him on there own..to take over completely, well it would turn there lives upside down.
My daughter has even said she don't want children.
Very hard one i think .

Iv just reread what you wrote, not have totall responsibility but a say in his needs?..
Hi audrey,
I sent for all the forms for POA (health and welfare and financial) from the Office of Public Guardian for my hubby as recommended by the Memory Clinic
There is a very comprehensive explanation book that comes with them for filling it all in, it does look daunting to start with.
The only thing to make sure of is if something doesn't apply to you to put a line through the box, if it is left blank they will return the forms.
Filled them in and sent them back, cost is £120 for each of them for registering them.
It took quite a while for them to be registered as the is apparently a big backlog (3-4months).
Hope this helps
I don't have a will, I don't have anything worth leaving to anyone!

That said I know I should get one sorted but I'm a born ostrich.
I have poa set up for my for my parents and they have wills (They have everything sorted and every possibility covered because my brother is a bit of a rogue, he would sell your trousers whilst your wearing them if he could!)

I on the other hand am also an ostrich ..........
Have the POA for my OH at his request a while ago due to interfering family (his) demanding a say in his treatment. It was all done online and the GP forms paid for privately directly to him so half the cost of doing it via a solicitor. Very helpful lady talked me through the forms on the phone and helped with the technicalities of printing it off and the legal bit I had to add so if anything happens to me my friend Ruth (with her agreement) takes on my role of POA for my OH.

The wills are in the bureau, along with the undertakers of our choice. Mine local, burial but OH wants private cremation so makes sense for friend who is undertaker in the city which has the crem to attend to him, then his ashes go with me when my time comes, unless I go first, in which case he will be scattered half on his parents grave, and half on mine.

Cheery subject, but practical.

Take care
Do you have a will? And if not, why not?

And do you have a Power of Attorney, in case you get run over by a bus and end up in a coma? And if not, why not?

It's OK]http://www.carersuk.org/images/icon_wink.gif[/img]
I've read several cases in the last year where people HAVE left very explicit & detailed Wills and after they've died their wishes have not been carried out. There was one where a very wealthy woman (with just one child) chose not to leave her estate to her daughter. The daughter complained and copped for the lot, house, land and loads of money.

There was another, very near me where a woman married a man whose wife had died some years earlier. They spent several happy years together and in his will he said that he wanted to leave everything to his second wife with just some small items for his 4 adult children. He explained in his will that he had helped ALL of his children to buy houses, educate their children and start businesses so he wanted his wife to be the main beneficiary. He died, the kids contested the will and there was a right old palarver. One would assume that if you wtite down your wishes in a will that's an end to it, but often it isn't.
Good topic Excalibur. I really don't know what to do as both my kids are disabled, no point naming brothers or sisters of mine or husbands as they are roughly the same age as us, no intention of putting cousins in charge that don't even know my boys let alone care about them.
Also what others have said about challenging wills is so true, what's the point?
My father left a regular will leaving everything to my mother, little did he know that she would blow the lot bailing out just 2 of his 4 children and put her property in one of their names effectively leaving the other 2, myself and other brother with nothing.
It's not the money that bothers me with my mother, just that it's so morally wrong.
I think people would find it extremely easy to relieve my boys of anything we leave, sadly, who will look out for their best interests?
Some very thoughtful replies: thanks. Broadly speaking, it isnt worth contesting a will or POA unless there is serious money at stake: and for people like that they will no doubt have access to good lawyers. As for the rest of us, on a tighter budget, a POA form and even a draft will can be downloaded for free and edited acording to need.

Reasons for taking action? Well, they have already been raised here: if we die intestate (with no will) the government might take all. If we die with a bad will, the rellies might fight and fall out over it. But from a selfish capacity, I care not what happens when I die as long as my kids dont end up falling out over it, and my disabled son who cant fight his own case is looked after; but what happens after I get run over by a truck and stay alive but with no ability to influence affairs does matter, a lot. Because if I screw up they might end up with the cash, whilst I end up dumped in some low-life trailer-trash care home with no visitors.Not cool.

The average residual estate of someone owning their own home is pushing a quarter of a million quid these days. That is enough to make most siblings fall out if it is handled badly.