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Xmas Ho Ho Ho - Carers UK Forum

Xmas Ho Ho Ho

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Hi all,
In shops today and everywhere I looked there where things for Christmas . Selection Boxs , crackers,
sweets, even seen Xmas trees (artificial), cards, tinsel , you name it. It's hard to look at it, normally when the we novelties came out I would have bought mum just to cheer her a we bit. I don't know
how I am going to get through it. First Christmas without mum. I don't mean to put a dampener on
things, but It all seems really early, they didn't even have the Halloween things out yet. What is it
again just remind me when we are living. 24th sep. Image
Minnie, Christmas will be different now.I hate getting to this time of year. My son died on 25th July 2009, so the first Christmas was exactly five months after his death. We do find ways to cope,but there are some things I do not do any more.
I hate opening presents now,have to force myself with them, to keep my elder son happy. This year will be easier as my grandson will be 18 months old and will enjoy the fun.
I won't cook a turkey, I did the first year but ended up throwing it away as none of us could eat it. We will probably have gammon and salad,or fish.
We put a tree up, but it is not a big tree, such we had before. It is a much smaller tree,and the ornaments all have a memory tied to them.
Christmas cards, yuck!How do I write a card without putting the same names I had been doing for 20 odd years?Plus when I go in to get my other children a card,then I still have to look at cards,"to a son."I also avoid the parent ones, my Mum died 15 years ago,my Dad last year during Christmas week.
We try to have a lot of humour.When we had my Dad's funeral, it was bittercold weather and loads of ice around. We could not get out and about to get to the shops for clothes,so had to buy my husband and fleecy pyjamas to wear under their funeral suits!Then, when the funeral car came to pick us up, the driver braked but we live on a hill and the car slid further down the hill.I could just picture my dad and son sitting on a cloud looking down and laughing at me panicking,and my Mum standing over them telling them off for laughing. (This was 23rd December).
I hope that you are able to find some lighthearted moments and have a giggle with memories, and hope that you ahve someone to share the happiness and sadness with.
Thanks Lazydaisy, you have had a hard time.
You made me smile about the pyjamas though. as they say. we either laugh or cry.
I think Xmas is a bad time for many I know since my Dad died 19 years ago I dont feel the same about it, Dad loved xmas and he made the day special.

I worry about the cost of xmas its hard when your on benefits caring for others I just wish xmas was every other year lol
My mother in law died 4 days before Xmas and we spent Xmas Day watching the tsunami on the tv news. The only good thing I decided was not to attempt a tradional Xmax lunch and we had a cold buffet set out so we could eat when we fancied food, far better than facing a big lunch and all that entails.
As for presents buy what people would want and not what dictated to by the shops, bin those Xmas catalogues, who wants a set of scented candles and box of soap, dont spend a fortune, use your imagination! Buy a roll of brown wrapping paper and a roll of ribbon and make your presents look original! You can spoil children but dont worry if an adult gets a hissy fit if they dont get what they want, just remember some of the rubbish presents you've been given over the years Image
GREAT! xmas in the shops already, great way to make me feel depressed.

Time to hibernate till February
I know what you mean Simon. I dont know why they dont just drape the tinsel over the Halloween pumpkins and be done with it.
I dread Christmas too! It just reminds me of my Dad, who died 10 yrs ago this year, and its not not the same without him..... I have to try and be festive for my kids though, but normaly leave all my shopping etc till last minute. In fact last Christmas I had a bad stomach bug so was ill the whole time!
Dont get me wrong I normally love xmas but the past few years money has been extremely tight which meant I couldnt buy my loved ones anywhere near what I wanted to, this year we have a baby that will be 11 months old and im already scared its going to be a dissapointing xmas simply becaue I cant afford to buy the presents I want to get as im not working.

Carers should get an xmas bonus for the work we do and the money we save the government, but still, I doubt all the fat cats that run this country will give a second thought to the less fortunate whilst tucking into a 5 course xmas dinner in their mansions will they?

I dont mean to sound bitter but this caring lark is bloody hard going at the best of times without the additional financial burden of xmas etc.
Your right there Simon! Now the family here is gorwing with grandchildren its harder and harder plus we have Sars 18th straight after xmas, to me its got all too comercialised nowdays, I would love the xmas's they had in the old days where children were happy with simple things!