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not sure what to do? - Carers UK Forum

not sure what to do?

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Me ma has mental health problems, that's under control at the moment. However for the last month she has been vomiting, probably 10 times this month, for the last few days she's been feeling faint, her eyes are puffy, short of breath and last night she passed out on the stairs for a few secs.
This obviously isn't normal and I've run out of excuses as to what this may be, so I want to call her GP for a visit, however my mum insists she doesn't want to see a doctor. She hasn't had the best experiences with doctors.......the main problem I have is that because it's nowt to do with her mental health do I have the right to insist...I don't mean physically get the doc round , but do it without my mums say so. If I said to you go and see the doc and you didn't want to even though you were ill I wouldn't still get the doc round,so is it right to do it to my mum.
I think I'm going to call the doc anyway.....am I being a c***?
on our local news tonight there was a chap who felt well who went to the opticians ,the optician found the start of brain cancer,which would have made in blind in 2 years and dead in 6,lucky chap,so in your case with obvious signs of something not right with your mum i'd ring the doctor,might be nothing but? and by the way the chap had treatment and is fine now,get my point
yes it makes sense, and know is the thing to do, I just feel if I do it without her permission it's a little bit more of her independence that's lost i.e the right to say she doesn't want to do something but I still do it. Am I overthinking this?
if i was being an idiot i'd expect the family to tell me,if you honestly believe she's ill and it could be serious then she needs to see a doctor,i took my wife as far as harrogate to find out what was up with her,knowing full well that i wouldn't like the answers to the questions(alzheimers),perhaps your mum knows deep down she's ill and scared to get an answer from a doctor,have you asked her?
of course I've asked! just feels uncomfortable doing something she doesn't want doing, even if I feel it's the best for her.
Rich if your ma is taking any form of regular medication (ie for her mental health) this will be affected if she continues to vomit, therefore you'd be contacting her GP about her mental health indirectly. However, this may still not sit comfortably with you - how about telling her how worried you are about the sickness, particularly her fainting etc etc also that you respect her decisions but you really think she ought to see the GP, do you think she needs reassurance that you'll not leave her alone with the GP, that you'll stay with her throughout the appointment? How about explaining how much it pains you to see her so ill and feeling at an absolute loss because she won't allow you to care for her like you want to.

Only you Rich, will know what approach is better because nobody knows your ma like you.
I think I'm going to call the doc anyway.....am I being a c***?

Yep Rich you are being a Carer (PS you didn't put enough stars after the 'C') Image
Get the doc. it might be something easily treated with medication, vertigo , stomach
something like that. Mum is probably afraid of being sent into hospital or a home,
explain you will try and stop them doing that. might calm her. Only seen your
post , maybe you have got doc by now , hope mum gets better and things settle for
Get the doc Rich. Tell your Mum you are going to get him because YOU are worried and need your mind put at rest.
Works for me Image
big thank you to everyone.....going to get the doc round. It helps to talk about it and see that I am not being a c***, am merely a carer cheers malc, jane, minnie, myrtle X