"Carers need to target their anger and pain appropriately if they are to effect any change."
I think this is an important point, but is open to discussion.
Yes, it's true, carers do need to target their anger and pain appropriately if they are to effect any change...BUT, the point is, at the time when they need support they are under such stress they are very often in no position to perhaps I may put it 'think rationally'.
Yes, we all know that the way to successful resolution is to 'handle the other person well and skilfully' to get the results we want - we all do this in everyday life all the time.
But the 'misdirection of anger' towards the 'hapless expert' is precisely because they 'draw the fire towards them'.
I went through a horrible horrible experience when my husband was about to be discharged from hospital in end stage cancer, basically being 'sent home to die'. I was SOOOOOOOOO angry that it had come to that! SOOOOOO angry that 'they' (ie, the doctors) were 'writing him off'. So much so that I totally lost it with his oncologist, and yelled my head off at him to get away from my husband's bed and never come near him and threw him out! (I'm sure I gave all the minion nurses a really good day - boy, they must have enjoyed seeing Mr Call Me God Consultant being yelled at!!!
I can see with hindsight that I was, probably 'clinically insane' at that point, with grief and terror, and my anger just found the first person in my line of sight to blame.
Now, the onc reacted very properly - he said 'Come and talk' and sat me down and made it 'OK' (well, OK-ish....I dont' give him total credit!)
But he understood I wasn't 'really' angry at HIM personally (part of me was, though!), but at what was happening to my husband. So, he didn't take it 'personally'.
And I say all this because even though yes, what Mick says above is true...BUT, sometimes it CAN'T be true because the beleaguered client/caree is simply not in a headspace to be in control of their reactions in the first place - which is exactly why a SW has been called in, hasn't it? If we could cope without the social workers (or doctors!) we would!
It's therefore up to the social workers to take that on board, and to be given the training to deal with it, and not take it 'personally'.