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Who controls your life? - Page 5 - Carers UK Forum

Who controls your life?

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
71 posts
The only incumbent of a South Yorkshire constituency who springs to mind is the Rt Hon David Blunkett Esq, he is still Labour I think, and if he could have kept his pants from falling down round his ankles at any opportunity might have made a fairly good Prime Minister. That said, he is a fairly good example of a disabled person from a disadvantaged and impeccably working class background who wasn't going to let the "inconvenience" of Blindness get in the way of a good career. It's time we started to ask why the Welfare State has failed disabled people]

I think that the above simply indicates that you have no concept of the enormous range of disabilities and how they differentially impact on function and therefore on how individuals are able to live their lives. This was the mistake that Blunkett made, the: "I can do it so why can't other disabled people" mistake, which made him so unpopular with many within the disabled community. Being blind cannot be equated with, for example, having a severe mental illness, being in constant severe pain, being a tetraplegic or being at the severe end of the autistic spectrum, one size does not fit all, each according to his ability and each according to his disability, the Welfare State has, until now, recognised this.

If you believe that fighting for our rights to be treated as equal citizens and to receive the financial support and the health and care services we need is whining about institutional discrimination that is fine. I have enormous respect and admiration for people such as the people of The Broken of Britiain who, despite significant disabilities and at a cost to their own health, are fighting to ensure that all of those of us who need support, including financial support, in order to be able to engage as equally as possible given our individual disabilities, and indeed to be able to keep a roof over our heads and feed ourselves, continue to receive this support. If I did not have caring responsibilities I would be joining them in the fight to retain the aspects of the Welfare State which ensure that sick and disabled people do not face destitution and for too many of those for whom work is not an option that is the reality of this government's current proposals.
PS: Please dont presume that you know my political ambitions: because the simple answer is that I don't have any. If I did I would join one of the major parties and cynically manipulate my way into selection for a safe seat, like Blair, Cameron or Mandelson. I just like to ensure that the electorate has a choice, because if the only people who ever stood for election were clear favourites or stood a decent chance, then there would only ever be one or two candidates. What kind of democracy would that be?
Not only did my post have a wink emoticon but I think you know me well enough, Scally, to realise that the comment was not intended to be taken seriously.
[quote]I think that the above simply indicates that you have no concept of the enormous range of disabilities and how they differentially impact on function and therefore on how individuals are able to live their lives. This was the mistake that Blunkett made, the]

Well, I do actually, and even in my more frivolous posts have never suggested that there are not huge differences between different disabilities. This thread isnt meant to be about people who are bedridden, nor is it about the small percentage of people with multiple and complex disabilities. It is meant to be about helping adults with manageable conditions who need support and encouragement of whatever kind in order to achieve their potential, and that includes millions of people with learning difficulties, minor to moderate mental health issues, simple and manageable physical disabilities and sensory impairments, and a range of other fluctuating conditions like epilepsy.

I'm feeling a sense of mounting frustration that every time this issue of access to work is raised, the "Yes but" brigade on here try to hijack the thread as if work were some kind of taboo. It isnt. This isnt about those who cant work, this is about the far larger number of disabled people in the mild to moderate categories, who deserve a better standard of debate and a better chance of getting into the workforce.
So in your first post on this thread you say the key to good welfare is to support people just enough, what did you mean by that? In the context of what you now say is only intended for those with mild to moderate disability who I thought already had less financial help than those with more severe disability.
Vicky
No-one has ever suggested that those with disabilities who find that only their problem accessing work is the attitude of employers or lack of a suitable working environment should not have better access to work and equal employment opportunities but you can hardly be surprised if the members of this board who are mainly caring for people with substantial disabilities or people who face particular barriers to employment find some of your suggestions simplistic, for example, that social housing which may have been adapted for them is part of the problem and the profit-driven private landlord sector with its insecurity of tenure is preferable. Or if they find the suggestion that employers should benefit from the labour of sick and disabled people gratis and let the State pay the costs of employment, or that they lack "individual tenacity and courage", or that they lack education and skills, or that lifestyle choices are a contributory factor, or that they have become too dependent on the Welfare State into which they paid, etc., etc. offensive.

You talk about manageable disabilities and no doubt you have some definition of manageable disabilities but are you really qualified to define them either professionally or through your own experience of dealing with personal disability?

It may surprise you, Scally, to discover that rather than the country having a large number of idle benefit claimants who are more than happy to live off the labour of others and who with a little encouragement and support can be returned to economic activity, having to acknowledge and accept that employment will never be a viable option can be an extremely painful experience whether someone is disabled or has found it necessary to give up employment to care for a family member, to have this questioned, whether in terms of objecting to paying taxes or couched in terms of social conscience, is not only potentially hurtful but is also indicative of how prevalent is the lack of understanding of disability and caring in this society.
Who controls your life?
Is the question.

My caree controls my life, all the time, totally.
Is the answer.

That's it all you guys. No politicians, no SS, no GPs, no Job Centres, no ranting and raving.
OK - simple answer and that's all you need to know.
Aha Frandrake, then you have never met Mrs Scally!
the members of this board who are mainly caring for people with substantial disabilities
That is a non-evidenced statement, an opinion, not a fact. And there have been quite a lot of these unsupported assumptions of late, mainly used to attempt to block lines of argument that some members simply don't want to hear. Free and fair debate depends on everyone playing by the rules, the first one of which is: dont make up the facts, and the second one of which is: please don't put words into someone else's mouth. The third is to avoid making personal comments, and there have been too many of those for comfort already. There really isnt any widely accepted definition of "substantial disabilities" and we all know that. But in any case, if we wish to get personal I would regard both my carees over the past 20 years as having fairly substantial disabilities: with a combined tally of dementia, lung disease, cancer, amputations, Downs Syndrome, double incontinence: its simply that I try to look at the positives.

If you follow the course of this dialogue, you will find that there have been several attempts to stifle debate, usually accompanied by dismissive comments and personal attacks. I've done my best to keep the conversation good humoured, but there is no justification for making up the facts or embroidering them to suit one side of the case. And anyway, it is wrecking what could be a good debate about how to get disabled people into work.
I don't think that's the case at all Excalibur, people who are caring for more disabled people genuinely want to know, you haven't answered my question which isn't personal at all by anyone's standards.
One of my children is I hope capable of earning a living when the time comes so I support the idea of finding a way to work in his case, do worry though that he will be forced to collect trolleys in the supermarket instead of being helped into more meaningful work that utilises his talents better.
If you are talking about young people are you aware that here in England lots of our children are written off from day one, no relevent education delivered at all, that can happen just as much in mainstream schools as it does in special.
To follow with your postings though my other son if he makes no improvements will most likely never work but I resent the idea that he must only ever live at sustenance level in order to keep the great British tax payer happy.
Vicky
P.S. we need a spell check here, is there 2 T's in British?
Aha Frandrake, then you have never met Mrs Scally!
the members of this board who are mainly caring for people with substantial disabilities
That is a non-evidenced statement, an opinion, not a fact. And there have been quite a lot of these unsupported assumptions of late, mainly used to attempt to block lines of argument that some members simply don't want to hear.
I have to disagree or I would not have made the statement, read the board, Scally.
Free and fair debate depends on everyone playing by the rules, the first one of which is]

See above.
and the second one of which is]

Evidence please.
There really isnt any widely accepted definition of "substantial disabilities" and we all know that. But in any case, if we wish to get personal I would regard both my carees over the past 20 years as having fairly substantial disabilities]

The comment related to personal experience of one's own disability. I think, Scally, that, much as I respect your power of debate, you fail to recognise that some of your comments on this thread will be perceived as personal by some of the members, just read their responses. I did not perceive them in that light, I have sufficient experience of comments which are intended to be taken personally to be able to differentiate between those which are personal and those which are generalisations which could be taken personally, and my replies to you were not intended to be taken personally, they were intended to challenge your perceptions.
Evidence again please. Having an opposing view is hardly an attempt to stifle debate, voicing it is debate.
I should add that it is not absolutely clear, Scally, whether this thread is about your hopes and aspirations for your son which are entirely understandable and laudable and the means of achieving them or the wider issue of the employment of disabled people, you seem to straddle both which might make comments which are aimed at the generalisations appear personal, they are not intended to be.
Who controls mine....well i feel at the moment " it ain't me".... i feel as if im going up that certain creek and just dropped me paddle Image , within the year my gals 3 day placement will cease, and she is certainly not ready for supported employment, we have suggested voluntary work, that will mean myself accompanying and picking up (she's not independant) before i start work/finish etc, but has fell through, my gal employs a PA 12 hours a week to support her over two days,doing activities tomorrow will try riding various bycycles Image. I work part time and looks like i maybe reducing my hours, and arranging my days off to support, and no she will not be sitting on her bum, things need to be structured.....lots of juggling. Anyone got a magic wand i can use
71 posts