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Carers UK Forum • Whinging
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Whinging

Posted: Mon Aug 10, 2009 11:05 pm
by tez440
Hi all, new on here so here's a little about myself.
Worked self-employed bathroom fitting for 18 years, had to finish this 4 years back to take care of my partner, she as COPD (chronic lung disease) Ann now needs 24 hour care and very rarely goes out of the house, she is like many more people being cared for i read about on here inconsiderate, nasty, selfish and so on, she always had a short fuse even before her illness, but she now only has me and our youngest Daughter (15 year old) who give a monkey's, our two oldest (both with their own homes and children) won't have anything to do with Ann, they don't want to talk to her, this makes everything much harder for me and our youngest, we never get a chance to do anything (not that i can afford to now)
Since i stopped fitting bathrooms i have took up photography part time to get extra income, my thinking was to photograph weddings at weekends and then the rest is done at home where i can still care for Ann, this Ann now sees as a hobby and because the last two weddings i did i was out of the house for about 5 hours i got the no talking treatment for a week (she does not see we still need to pay the bills)
My youngest Daughter is a promising athlete, i take her to the track three times a week but i can not watch her because i have to go back to see to Ann, when she competes i very really get the chance to see her run.
Anyway that's my whinging over nice to meet you all.
Terry.

Hello & welcome to the

Posted: Mon Aug 10, 2009 11:37 pm
by fluffycat
Hello & welcome to the forum Image
I am Carer for my partner (husband) too.
Sounds a lot of things are going on, hope you will find this site useful.

Take care.

Sorry to hear that after

Posted: Mon Aug 10, 2009 11:40 pm
by Sundance
Sorry to hear that after your sacrifices that you are not getting any appreciation but you know becoming disabled doesnt turn people into angels in fact even if they were sweet before they got ill most people get a little bitter about having their normal life taken away from them.
I think you should write down how you feel and how the children feel about the way she treats you, give it to her to read and maybe you can get over to her that all of you are suffering and having to make sacrifices but if you all pull together everyone can get their fair share.
Its been my experience after caring for my mum and now my hubby that they are first and foremost centered upon themselves, even if they are grateful.
Good Luck Image Carole

I am disabled and although

Posted: Mon Aug 10, 2009 11:58 pm
by Guest
I am disabled and although I was born with my disability it hardly affected me but I have become increasingly disabled over the years, I am also my husband's carer so I am not first and foremost centred on myself and never have been, I think that this has more to do with pre-existing character traits which come more into play in certain circumstances than being an inevitable consequence of disability.

Thanks for all your comments

Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 7:09 am
by tez440
Thanks for all your comments and advice.
Iwas tired and a bit down when i wrote the post last night (sure you all know what it's like) i will introduce myself more when i get the time.
Off to make brekky now and get on with my housework Image

Hi Terry I have just

Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 8:25 am
by peteraf
Hi Terry I have just done breakfast now on a coffee break

Hello Terry - and welcome!

Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:23 am
by Caring_Mind
Hello Terry - and welcome! I also love photography and would cry if I couldn't do what I love! Image It must be doubly difficult for you. I'm sure that I'm resaying what others will say - do you get any outside help with Ann?
Your daughter is very young for her caring role - does she get any support with it? Even just someone to talk with? The organisation RETHINK.org helps support young carers; you may have a local group which could help?
Hope today goes well for you - oh, and I think you're very brave to do weddings - not sure that I could do them, but would love to try. I like nature photography and love close ups of little bugs Image Here is an example - I'm trying my very best to keep away from these little devils!
Image

Although I nearly got stung

Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 11:06 am
by Stacey
Although I nearly got stung by the last post Image I do want to say hello! I care for my husband with "end-stage" COPD. When he worked his nickname was Victor Meldrew, so that should give you some idea of his personality.

I am glad you have photography to keep you busy as well as a wonderful, talented daughter. Please feel free to come here and vent all you like - I know I do and it sure helps.

Hello Terry - and welcome!

Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 11:24 am
by D0r0thyG
Hello Terry - and welcome! I also love photography and would cry if I couldn't do what I love! Image It must be doubly difficult for you. I'm sure that I'm resaying what others will say - do you get any outside help with Ann?
Your daughter is very young for her caring role - does she get any support with it? Even just someone to talk with? The organisation RETHINK.org helps support young carers; you may have a local group which could help?
Hope today goes well for you - oh, and I think you're very brave to do weddings - not sure that I could do them, but would love to try. I like nature photography and love close ups of little bugs Image Here is an example - I'm trying my very best to keep away from these little devils!
Image
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaargh.....a wasp!!! Hate them! Hate them! Hate them!Image

Hi Terry welcome to the

Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 11:48 am
by sheila23
Hi Terry welcome to the site. I've done breakfast on the 2nd lot of washing nearly time to get lunch ready then off to do shopping
Our work is never done always something to do. I don't get anytime to myself until about 11.PM when everyone's tucked up in bed.
Sheila
Image