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Carers UK Forum • when Mum went to hospital
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when Mum went to hospital

Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2017 6:23 pm
by Linda1
My Mum lives in a 24 hour extra care scheme she is attended by carers several times a day. Carers are on site. A few weeks ago my Mum took ill with a cold virus. She is 87 years old and symptoms had been surfacing during that week.
Anyway one evening a carer phoned me, saying she had called an ambulance because Mum couldn't really co-ordinate. However when I went round to her home immediately she did have co-ordination albeit looking very worse for wear with her symptoms.
When the paramedics arrived they were with her for 1.5 hours and myself, meanwhile a carer popped in to see how Mam was,the medical staff gave Mam a nebuliser, this calmed her symptoms down, we had a chat and I said that I would prefer Mam at home rather than in the hospital. When they left Mum was by that time stable.

I had to leave for something important, as I said Mum's cold symptoms had been subsiding all week. I had been with Mum for almost three hours, shortly after Mum was put to bed for the night by her carers.

Much later that evening I then got another call at 9.30pm saying Mum wasn't well in bed, and they were phoning for an ambulance again. Over that weekend she was admitted to hospital, released again two days later. Then admitted again within twelve hours. So it was a bit of a trial for her, she ended up staying in hospital for 8 days.

Mum recovered and was sent home, when I went to see her I was asked into the team leaders office,I was asked why I had refused Mam hospital attention at the start of the illness. I told her it was ludicrous and I would never do this, and I just told the medical staff I would prefer Mam to be at home if possible. The team leader then was really stroppy and said if I had wanted Mum to stay at home then I should of stayed with her that night. I kind of agree to that, however I did have something urgent to do.

I want to know if you think this team leader is in her right to confront me like this, when it is clear that one of the carers have lied and twisted my words. Apparently the carer had written a log that I had "refused Mum to be taken to hospital".

This has really worried me, as I am a person if good character, I am wondering whether to say something further or just let it go.

Re: when Mum went to hospital

Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2017 7:19 pm
by bowlingbun
I would write them a letter and send it to them recorded delivery, asking for it to be included in mum's file. The medical profession know elderly people are better off in their own home as long as they have enough care, and it sounds like mum's place was perfectly adequate. They just sound as if they are avoiding work to me.
I've also had my words twisted at times, so whenever possible I communicate by email so I have evidence. Suggest you do the same from now on, maybe to say so that you can share the information with your husband, brother or whoever!

Re: when Mum went to hospital

Posted: Sat Jun 10, 2017 11:42 am
by jenny lucas
Hmm, sounds a bit like the carers were following their HSE guidelines! In a way, I can't blame them - they probably have to err on the side of over-caution, and want to ensure that if anything happens at all to their carees, for whatever reason, THEY are 'in the clear'.

But yes, write a letter, saying you discussed it with the paramedics, and THEY agreed that hospitalisation wasn't necessary. It was not YOU 'refusing permission'!

Re: when Mum went to hospital

Posted: Sat Jun 10, 2017 12:37 pm
by Linda1
Thanks for your thoughts. I did talk it through with my brother, and decided to let it go. We decided it might stir things up and make them and me on my guard, I did decide if I see the carer to "friendly" put her right and to let her know, what she said that night was not my intention.
This situation has now resulted in me wanting to avoid the carers, so I am visiting Mum in between their calls. I have mixed emotions especially as I always thought I could have a friendly natter, I have lost some trust.