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When elderly parents want to be our children.... - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

When elderly parents want to be our children....

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
Personally I "Care" because I loved my Dear Old Dad (may God let him Rest In Peace) and I now care for my Mother for exactly the same reason. I try not to analyse too much because I can make analysis become paralysis if you get my drift. However this does not make me any less human and I get all the same frustration that someone with a more conventional job may have -I get angry, hurt frightened and the most overwhelming one is love. My Mum in a more lucid moment will tell me how lucky she feels to have a Daughter who cares enough to put up with her and in a less lucid moment will tell me I'm the worst person God allowed on this planet. Very occasionally I will listen to a debate being televised in parliament (my husband tends to watch this stuff) and I often think as they are going at each other like naughty impolite children "you would never ever cope with any one of my living days, so how on earth can you make such big decisions" I then switch completely off because I cannot change anything only myself and I personally would not be able to live with myself if I turned my back on the very people that gave me life so I do what I do and try to make the most of the good days and ignore the bad ones (coming on here to have a rant helps on the bad ones).
As for parents reverting back to children, I really do not believe they do, a child who is learning has no real memories my Mum has many memories and some of those memories bring a smile to her face and some fear, I try to reassure the fear and join in the happy ones. I suppose folks to sum up it's each to ones own and what we do is our own choice at the end of the day...............Happy caring folks xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hi,
EMPATHY-
( the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.)

I think all of us as carers or ex carers have, and need this quality. also LOVE is
foremost in us looking after our parents. Illnesses do a lot of things to the mind
we are not aware off. and we would not be here was it not for our parents.
We are simply human, and we Love and care , see that , they are in no pain and as comfortable as we can make them.
If we can do this in life for our loved ones , we should be
very proud . all of us.
Minnie
Hear hear minnie.
Not all carers look after parents. Some of us care for our adult children and I suppose its not really the same. The level of care we provide for our son is so physically and mentally demanding that there is no possible way we can take on the care of my mother (who had a heart attack on the 6th of January) and my husband's father (who has been in hospital for 11 weeks now and no sign of him getting out). We are almost totally done in as it is!

Eun
Hi Eun, I think Sussex, JRH and minnie were talking about their own experience - which happens to be caring for a parent. I care for my husband rather than a parent, but the sentiment is the same. My mum is being tested for dementia at the moment, but I wont be in a position to be able to care for her either. I dont think anyone was saying that we aught to care for our parents whatever, just that the reason we care for our caree is out of love.
So, was it the same book or not?
Still don't know.
Either way, I'm glad I read it when I did. It seriously helped me off-load a bully boy, boy friend. And no, I'm not comparing looking after mum to putting up with his bullshit... all I wanted to know is it the same book?
Is it?
That's the book, I remember all those pie charts. Did my head in; but still helped me though.