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What to do? - Page 5 - Carers UK Forum

What to do?

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
I had my meeting with the Trustees about the noise complaint. We should hear back from them with their decision on Friday. I think they might monitor the noise in the meantime (fingers crossed Dad and the carers aren’t too loud!!) and may ask us to move flats (I really wouldn’t want to, Dad would be upset and I’m exhausted, but better than being evicted!). Please Keep everything crossed. Thank you for your help and support.
I think they should ask the complainer to move flats!!!
Thank you- I'd love that to be the outcome but dare not even suggest it! Under my fathers tenancy agreement they can place him in any flatvthey like. I just have a feeling from a couple of the Trustees comments that they will suggest he moves. Obviously I will try to be positive but will actually be gutted. After everything we have been through this year we just need some peace and quiet. My father will be so upset - it's his home. It will feel like he's been driven out but at least he won't be homeless? Please keep everything crossed that it goes well.
That is so tough. Having read through your post I am just astounded by the lack of common humanity in this situation? From the neighbour and trustees. Whatever happened to empathy? Whatever happened to common decency that surely dictates that you put up with a little noise from a dying man? Surely you go round and ask what you can do to help not make a complaint????? Same goes for the trustees? This has made me despair of society. I have everything crossed for you, for a good outcome for you and your Dad.
Fingers crossed too!
Just an update: sorry I need to offload. I’ve got no one to talk to and feel like I’m going insane/to collapse. I do hope you don’t mund.

We’ve been asked to consider moving my father to a different flat because of the noise complaint by his neighbour. Unfortunately there is no one to appeal to/no legal action that can be taken . At the moment the Trustees say they won’t force my father to go but say explicitly that they could and might do. My father’s solicitor has confirmed this is right- as have Shelter and the CAB. The flat they suggest he moves to won’t be vacant until November.

I’m utterly exhausted and just overwhelmed so am sort of pretending it’s not happening. There are so many reasons it won’t work (not least because the best friend of the lady who has complained about us lives next door and has already said to one of my father’s carers she doesn’t want him there!). The thought of having to pack everything up, move, get phone lines /help lines/ disabled adaptions installed/notify everyone etc and then support my father through the move all on my own and on top of everything else is overwhelming. I’m just going to keep acting like it’s not happening - at least for a couple of weeks!

Unfortunately I’m still sleeping on my father’s floor. The council have refused might care (as he’s over 65 - they say they would install sensory alarms but I would have to respond and I’m over two bus rides away which simply won’t work at night). The alternative is a home which he really doesn’t want to go to and I don’t think he’s ready for - and I’m told he would likely have to go to one in another city as there aren’t any locally. We have asked for a continuing health care assessment to be done - but whilst he passes the checklist he doesn’t have any priorities in the assessment: in ten of the areas he has moderate to high needs but we are told that is not sufficient.

I am exhausted with sleeping on his floor for over two months:getting around four/five hours sleep a night which is not enough. I need to have a couple of nights sleep. I was thinking about whether we might be able to privately pay for a carer to come in from 6-7:30 am in the morning for a couple of nights . I’m not sure whether anyone has carers this early? Even if we just paid for it on a temporary basis (I couldn’t afford it any longer but am utterly exhausted and may have to give up work if I don’t do something).

The problem at night seems to be that with the existing care package Dad is put to bed at 5:30pm each night (it’s early as the carers have to help meet him from the ambulance bringing him home from hospital). Unfortunately he doesn’t then have another visit from carers until 7:30am which means he is expected to stay in bed for 14 hours which is just too long. He starts trying to get up at around 6 and as he now needs double handed care to mobilise (personal injury claim is going through the courts but could take years!- whilst the patient transport service have admitted negligence we haven’t even had an interim payment!) he’s not safe on his own. He’s now in a routine of sleeping from about 5:30 - til just before 6- if I could get someone to cover from 6 until the carers arrive at 7:30 I would be okay but at the moment it’s not safe to leave him on his own.

Any suggestions on what I might do to cover this gap so I can get some sleep ? Thank you so much.
Sorry - I should also have said that the current carers struggle to arrive by 7:30! In the morning so the Council say there is no way the morning visit could be any earlier
Oops- should have also said I have considered sleeping tablets and a bar to keep my father in bed. However sleeping tablets make him drowsy, would have a knock on impact upon the next day and it’s not that he has a problem sleeping it’s just being in bed for 14 hours is too much and he gets restless. He isn’t completely bed bound and is very determined so I think he’d see a bar on his bed as a challenge to get over so risky. When I raised the issue with his physio and OT they said they would recommend against it as it could make any fall worse. Hmmm what to do....
The current care package clearly isn't suitable for you or your father, I had similar issues with my caree expecting them to go bed early to suit the paid carers.
But my caree could not get out of bed, bed bound so I had to go around and help nights.

I see your dad has a solicitor, can they not bring up the issues with the care package, the care should be centred around you and your father.
The care like my caree seemed to be based around the paid carers, my carees wanted to go home early as they have familys and it would be unfair on the familys to come home late-human rights?

A re assessment with a Care Act Advocate, the council are being very unfair.
And can't the council come around with noise meters, if there is a noise complaint, I think its environmental health that can investigate noise, loud music etc.