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What to do? -Carers UK Forum

What to do?

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
My father lives in a flat for the elderly. One of his neighbours (also elderly but not disabled) has complained about the noise. She claims my fathers carers come each day at 6 slaming the doors and that my father coughs and breaths very loudly at night. The landlord has asked if my father will move!
I can’t belive it. I think the neighbour has just got used to having silence whilst my father was in hospital for six months. I know that having carers and nurses coming and going can be noisy but they never come before 7:30am (as per the care plan). The noises are because he can’t breath (heart and kidney failure have resulted in fluid build up). I just don’t know what we can do about that. I would be grateful for any suggestions as to how we can resolve this. My father is terminally ill and would be heart broken to move.
One there should be a proper meeting where everyone can air their views. Your father does not have to attend you can.
Get the land lord with father's sign permission. To speak in the first instance directly to you not your father.

Two the carers should be signing in/out after visits.

Check and copy (don't disclose any name etc - just the times) the log to prove the timings. Request carers make as little noise as is necessary and/or add a key safe to the front door.

Check with the O/T or who ever looks after the equipment - noise levels. Is there a problem with equipment. Explain the issues to the company. Get a written statement if this is the only type available etc.

Contact Citizens Advice in your area.

Have you been able to speak to the neighbour. And clarified this information that the land lord is sharing.
If she doesn't like the noise then the simple solution is for her to sleep with ear plugs. The yellow roll up foam type are under £1 I think. The landlord has, after all, a duty to make reasonable adjustments for disabled people. One day this complainer will also be dying!
Just another thought, is the corridor tiled or carpeted?


Just a thought. When I was little we lived in a semi detached house, and the bedrooms were on adjoining walls. Where is the complainer's bed in relation to dad's?

My bedroom (garage conversion) has so much insulation in it that I can use a vacuum at 11pm and no one in the main house can hear it! It comes in 8x4 sheets, so it would be better for some of this to be fitted than ask dad to move!
Thank you for your kind responses. I will suggest a meeting and represent my father.

I can prove that the carers don’t arrive until after 7.30 (the careplan- in actual fact they are always late and arrive after 8). I will also speak to them and the Care Agency about being considerate neighbours. I think some of it is a cultural issue - most of the carers are naturally quite loud/boisterous which might be intimidating to an older lady on her own.

I do t know what I can do about Dad though. He is dying - he doesn’t have breathing equipment but does cough and breath loudly. I think the neighbours bed is parallel to my fathers (the rooms are so small there is nowhere else for the beds to go). Although the walls are thick (over 400 years old) I might see if they would let us pay for soundproofing /insulation although I have no idea how much it would cost.

Our tenancy just requires one months notice . I stupidly persuaded my father to give up a more secure tenancy as I thought he would be better cared for in a warden controlled flat for the elderly.

I feel so sorry for my father- I’m at the end of my tether: goodness knows how he is feeling.
Faye, It's under £100 a sheet, 3 sheets would be sufficient for a 12ft wide wall, but it would need to be fitted of course. Doubtless the moaning neighbour would complain about that too! It might work if just stood on end joined with tape, but wouldn't look very nice - a silver surface saying "Celotex" or similar.
Are the rooms bed sits, or could dad's bed be moved to the lounge area?
I think you need to tell the lady that he is dying and probably won't have long.
If that isn't enough to make her have some compassion then she is heartless enough not to deserve any sympathy or attention.
If the landlord continues to try to evict him you have a good case for disability discrimination
Thank you so much for your helpful and kind responses. I will speak to the carers and care agency about being considerate to the neighbours. Will show the warden the care plan /sign in sheets to prove that they are not arriving before 7:30. I wail also offer to pay for insulation/ soundproofing.

The neighbour does know my father is terminally ill. I actually wonder if that might be why she is complaining as he really doesn’t make a huge amount of noise and the walls are really thick. I think she doesn’t like the coming and going if district nurses/carers etc and just doesn’t like having a sick person around
I think from what I've read, Dads landlord could have a serious lawsuit on his hands if he continues on this path, just mention to him that you are getting a solicitor and watch him squirm.

I agree that all Carers are different, Mum has around 12 different carers that rotate.

When one of Mums carers is on Morning duty, we've nicknamed her "gobby", I don't set my alarm and warn poor Mum what to expect. Next thing its "GOOD MORNING LOVE, HAVE YOU HAD A GOOD NIGHTS SLEEP, IS IT OK IF I TURN THE LIGHT ON" at which point I cringe, curl up in bed and cover my ears.

She then insists on screaming at the top of her voice throughout the visit, one time Mum was in the living room and gobby was in Mums bedroom shouting at the top of her voice, giving a running commentary on changing Mums bed...