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Need help please - Carers UK Forum

Need help please

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
My sister in law is a registered carer for her mum and is really worried about her mum's health. And needs to know the legal side of is she aloud to speak with the gp about her mum's health. Any help would be appreciated
Look up 'Power of Attorney' on web. If her Mum is able to sign the forms then once they are registered your SIL will have every right to be fully consulted re Mum's care/health/needs. Before that it depends on how much health professionals are prepared to divulge to relatives.
Elaine
Thank you I will pass this info onto her
Should have mentioned that if SIL and her Mum share a GP then there's no reason she can't book an appointment and express her concerns. GP will use his/her discretion as to how much info then divulged to her. If they don't share a GP then a letter to Mum's GP expressing her concerns and passing on information would be good. He isn't then 'discussing' his patient against confidentiality, just gathering another's perspective. My GP quite happily discusses my Mum with me.
Cheers
Elaine
What is it about her health which is giving cause for concern? Is she known to Social Services?
She is also a very heavy drinker and my sister in law is is very concerned due to the medication she has been prescribed is not doing what it should. Because she is not telling the truth to the gp about how much she drinks and doesn't eat etc. And no she is not known to social services as far as I am aware
I'd certainly write to the GP under those circumstances.
Sadly, it's all too common for alcoholics and 'drink-dependent' people to be in strong and continual denial to themselves as well as everyone else about just how much they drink. However, your SIL's mum's GP is probably pretty clued up that his patient is a heavy drinker, just from her general state of poor health, but may not realise just how much perhaps? He may have mentioned the advisability of 'cutting down a bit' but these days it's not 'the custom' for GP's to be as blunt as medically at least they need to be about our rubbish lifestyles! Even obviously obese people just get 'advised' to 'cut down a bit' etc etc etc.

It probably doesn't make any difference, however, whether your MIL's GP has been blunt about the medical need to stop drinking, (assuming he realises just how much she is!), since whether he's blunt or not is unlikely to have any effect on your SIL's mum's actual drinking! (which perhaps is why GPs don't bother to make an issue of it, as they know bitterly we still won't change our unhealthy lifestyles!)

May be the only realistic thing now is for your SIL to accept that her mother's drinking will be shortening her life and adding to her medical deterioriation. That said, if giving up only adds 'a bit longer' to her life expectancy, and doesn't much improve her current quality of life, is there any point in going through the grim process of coming off alcohol?

People don't become addicts without their usually being strong psychological factors involved in driving them to addiction, and unless these are sorted out, quitting is unlikely to be successful anyway?? Plus, of course, there is all the question of denial, and the anger that comes when others try and get the addict to accept and recognise that they are alcoholics - especially when they have a lot of alcohol in them. (My SIL, who became 'drink-dependent' when caring for four years for her mother with dementia, gets extremely angry and aggressive if you try and stop her drinking after she's already consumed a bottle of wine in a night! And she gets pretty angry if you tackle her about it when she's sober.....in fact, to my mind, 'anger' is her predominant emotion, and what 'drove' her to drink in the first place, anger at the life she's had to lead, and anger in particular about being 'landed' with her mother's care needs, even though her mother has now been dead for a few years. The anger and the drink dependence are 'embedded'.)

I guess what I'm saying is that although I'd say that your SIL should probably write to her mum's GP making clear just how much his patient is reliant on alcohol and how much she is consuming, in practical terms her addiction may have to be something that is simply 'managed' rather than eradicated, given her age and other health problems. :oops:

Sadly, supporting your SIL is probably the best you can do now - she's in for a grim time I suspect, and having a good friend and family support in you, if that is your relationship, I'm sure will be a comfort and practical help to her.
Michael

May I also suggest, as she is a Carer, that she might like to register with this Carers UK forum, or at least look at its usefulness as it has been a lifeline fo so many of us in our caring duties.
She may have a few problem areas that she needs support with.
Well done to you on having found this site too.

Christina
christina 17 wrote:Michael

May I also suggest, as she is a Carer, that she might like to register with this Carers UK forum, or at least look at its usefulness as it has been a lifeline fo so many of us in our caring duties.
She may have a few problem areas that she needs support with.
Well done to you on having found this site too.

Christina
thanks I have told her about the site
I am also a carer for my disabled wife. I had to give up work 4 years ago to become a full time carer and also look after our 3 children