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WHAT IS GOOD ABOUT CARING? - Page 4 - Carers UK Forum


Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
My own feelings are ........'we win some', 'we lose some'....whether we are carers or not. There is a balance in all things - good and bad.
After reading this thread, I remembered something that a friend said not long ago to me.....and that was 'I don't think that I was made to be a Carer'. She finds it hard, and is not looking forward to the part where all the personal caring comes into it.
Got me wondering - are some people 'natural' carers?
But, as this thread is about what is good in caring - for me, is that when night time comes, I know that I've had the pleasure of having my son around for another day - whether it was a good, or bad day. ...and knowing that he will be there in the morning.
For just this much, I am thankful for.
I am not a natural carer, that does not mean to say that I am not caring, simply that dealing with what I have to deal with, the behavioural aspects, does not come easily to me. I understand why but I simply cannot change the way I am and I am not at all sure that I want to, living with disability has made me a can-do person, my husband is the opposite and I feel like a bully when I push him and I always regret getting angry but when I see the incredible improvement in him and know what would have happened to him if I had not pushed him and fought for, and even paid for, services which made demands on him I am glad that on occasions I lack the gentle, kind, caring attitude which makes someone a natural carer but which can so easily lead to learned dependency in the person being cared for.

Just being able to keep my husband at home where we both want him to be makes even the guilt worthwhile but like everyone here absolutely nothing can ever compensate for what we have both lost and what our lives have become, I can just see the positive along with the negative, it is for me my means of surviving.
From age zero to 4 i was hardly at home in hospital all the time old doll gave up work and had another baby when i was 2 STAN had just started his own plumbing and heating business but he put all that on the back burner to look after me and old doll spent more time with bro Stan when i gave up work i felt as though i was returning the favour not just for what the big fella had done for me when i was in trouble but for all the things he had done / gone through during ww2 he deserved to be looked aftger in his old age and thats it end of before his alzheimers kicked in he asked me many times if i would make sure the old doll was looked after and if i could keep her out of old folks home STAN bless him often said he would if he had to go into old folks home but we did have some respie and he hated it .
I think there are good and bad sides of Caring, but life is like that I guess - one thing is for certain, I have never been so moved and inspired by the accounts of Carers and their loved ones, and the many obstacle they have to overcome.

Carers and the Cared For are both sides of the same coin, only a Carer can feel what their loved ones feels and what they are going through, and we are different because we are emotionally involved, and this can be difficult. Carers also know their lovesd ones and their health on more levels than a person who spends 5 minutes with them can.

However, Caring is a huge learning curve, I admire the courage, strength and fighting spirit juxtaposed with love, compassion and kindness, I believe that our loved ones teach us to be better people, but it is unfortunate that it has to happen this way, so in a way they care for us too, in the way they can.

I think this is a thought provoking and emotional subject for Carers, and it also helps to release their emotions - I suppose everything happens for a reason, but I've yet to discover why...

Carers and the Cared For are my heroes! Image
very well put Lola. Image