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What happens when mobility is lost? - Page 2 -Carers UK Forum

What happens when mobility is lost?

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
Hi Vanillax, and I'm also sorry to hear about your worrying situation.
BB has provided first class advice and there isnt much more I can add. My parents are both now incredibly frail and we are currently organising a live-in care worker to help out. They have some means, and it works out cheaper and better quality than a nursing home. For people without the good fortune of savings, social services should, can and will provide care support: but you need to be damned pig headed :evil: and refuse to accept a discharge without this in place. Good luck, and the best of British to you both! :D
It would be a good idea to go back to those people who refused to help, now, and tell them what has happened to your wife as a result. You could do it as a "formal complaint". Social Services have a "duty of care" and clearly they have ignored that. Do you have any legal expenses insurance on any of your policies? When my husband died because doctors thought he had arthritis, never even considered heart disease, I used my legal expenses insurance on a very ordinary Prudential policy to pay for £10,000 worth of legal investigations. Until then, I didn't even know what sort of thing they covered.
At the moment we are waiting to see what the hospital OT says/does/refers. I have told the MS Nurses (well, left an answerphone message), and just called Social Services to tell them.

We do not have any insurance policies that could help. When my wife was diagnosed in 2000 and then could not work we tried to claim for existing things like loans, credit card, mortgage as they had ill-health provisions. Without exception they all said it was a pre-existing condition so was not covered - even though no-one on the planet could have diagnosed her with it at the time those finances were agreed. We fought all the way through the companies, though the Insurance Ombudsman and our MP to no avail. Those thieving insurance b*stards won. So now we never get that sort of insurance - it's legalised theft.

I have some faith in the NHS, that the OT will visit the house, see the issues and suggest what they can. What that might be I have no idea though.
Hi again, I'm very sorry to hear what's happened to your wife, she is being cared for though so try and get some time for yourself to rest.
Regarding what happened with the insurance, I can't write here what I'm thinking :angry: .

As for the OT, yes you will have to wait to see what is suggested, but in the meantime, could you and your wife compile a list of the problems you already have at home? Obviously your wife's broken hip will make things harder for you at home than they already were so all this needs to be taken into consideration.
No matter how organised we are, it is easy to forget the all the issues that both our caree and we need help with so actually writing a list and presenting it to the OT is a good way of making sure they're aware of everything. You've had good advice already and I would echo the suggestions about having everything in place for when your wife comes home, not after-you and your wife may need to be firm about this.

It is tiring, especially when you feel beaten down but you have lots of support here. Keep us posted!
The hospital OT has said that while they will be doing a home visit that they expect her to be discharged to a nursing home.
She hasn't stood up since she was admitted, needs a hoist to get from bed to chair, self-care is extremely difficult. Even she says that she could not be cared for now at home. No hoist, bathroom upstairs, bedroom upstairs, no way to move around.
We know no more right now but are preparing for that to happen. We could convert the garage to be a bedroom/wetroom but we'd still need a hoist, I would still need extra help at times.
The system has taken over though - we have to see what happens, what our options then are and go from there.

I suppose like everyone who posts to this forum we are both just thinking "This is not how things were meant to happen" over and over.

But we'll get through.
I am so, so sorry to read of your current situation. There is a relatively young man in mum's nursing home who had a very serious stroke, and is a long term resident in the home now, funded by NHS Continuing Healthcare. His wife and I have had several chats, they still have a good relationship, go out sometimes, etc. When the hospital decides your wife is ready for discharge, you need to know which home YOU want her to go to, otherwise she will just go to somewhere with a vacancy. You have a right (in my area it's the "Equality Policy") to have your wife in a home near your home, to keep you relationship going, probably also covered by the Human Rights Act too. Good homes have waiting lists, so you need to look around at the homes in your area (all listed on the Care Quality Commission website) and find out what is available. My mum's home was just down the road from me, so I could visit whenever I wanted. You also want to clarify with the hospital how your wife's care is going to be funded. Hopefully, they will arrange Continuing Healthcare (CHC) for her. Beware, they might talk about you paying a "top up" and ask you to sign to agree to this. Top ups are unlawful, do not sign anything to say you will part fund the placement. (If they do, I can tell you more about the regulations). It would be a good idea for you to learn more about CHC. At times like this you shouldn't need to worry about money, but it's vital I'm afraid, for you to protect your own future. Take care of yourself, life is so unfair, and I know you are not sleeping from the time of your post. Don't be afraid to ask your GP for something to help you get some decent sleep, and make absolutely certain that you are eating regularly - if you can't face doing proper food treat yourself to a meal in a pub (or my favourite, garden centre) several times a week. Everything looks worse on an empty stomach.
Thank you! I had no idea that we had a say in where she might be placed. I have bookmarked the CQC site and will go through that again tomorrow.
The OT has apparently said that the care will be free but I - and my wife - will be checking on this at every step so we aren't suddenly hit with the unexpected.

Sleep is odd right now. I'm putting it down to the bed being all to myself, to not having the duvet taken from me so often :)
If they are saying the care will be free, it could mean that they are going to make a Continuing Healthcare application. Might be worth asking for written confirmation that care will be free, for peace of mind. From my experiences with mum (just down the road) and mum in law (14 miles away) I'd say stick out for the home you like most nearest your own home. I loved being able to call into mum on my way to or from the shops, or sometimes both!
Well..... the OT visited and it turns out that some advice my wife had been given was wrong.

The OT took measurements and with some furniture moving we can fit a hospital bed and hoist downstairs. The OT has to organise a care package which will take a few weeks but because she can now come back here there is no need for a nursing home.

What then happens will have to be guided by her healing, ability to stand and any other care issues which arise.

We will still look into a garage conversion but at least she'll come home and that is better for all of us.
Under certain circumstances a "Disabled Facilities Grant" may be available. Google this for further information.