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What does long-term isolation do to a person? - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

What does long-term isolation do to a person?

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
That's one of the reasons we try to organise pub lunches and similar, Eun. The hard part's finding places that are reasonably priced and accessible when people want to bring the person they care for.
Eun - I think the carers drop in are quite different across the country. I have attended several in different places & agree totally that some are dreadful. I have gone to some & come out so depressed as people have done nothing but moan & winge - I don't just mean share difficult times which we all need to do but complain about every little thing with no glimmer of light.

I am fortunate that the one I go to now is a friendly, positive group. Sharing experiences & chatting. We laugh a lot & I enjoy going. Also for people just starting out they can be places to gain knowledge about services which can be vital for people. For people who are isolated it may be a place to make friends who understand the restrictions of caring. It will not be right for everyone one but it may help ease the isolation of someone, so I felt it was worth mentioning.

The same with the sitting service. Not right for everyone as no actual care is involved. However, it may be right for someone.
I also certainly would not want to use any beak I had to go to a carers drop in thank you very much. Been there, done that. Do not want to listen to a lot of other folks one upmanship of who has got it worse. I want to forget about caring for a while not be in among it all.
Well said Eun I was going to go to the local rcc to find out more, but it was when I
read on the local website who was employed there that stopped me in my track's,
Ex neighbour no thought about disabled people parties from 8pm till 5am at the weekend's
to many time's getting up at 3am to go round and tell them to shut up which they did
as they knew what I meant and would DO ! Image
Still glad to say they are not here now they have moved but she is now rcc 's charity fund raiser
So I won't be going there very soon to much upmanship .
New neighbours are great but we hardly see them and she has been round once in 2 year's
and he only come's round for me to cut timber for him or something else he want's doing.
so as for friends we have none and none that visit and none that phone I go shopping once
a week that take's an hour the rest of the time is getting meal's for OH and the garden
which is half the size of a football pitch to keep tidy and my woodwork and anything
else that want's doing like a new Bathroom and tidying the house as men do Image Image
so as OH will not go out very often only when she want's to or has to as she will not use
her wheelchair and cannot walk to far as she is in constant pain in knees ( ostio-arthritis)
Last year Oh went out I think about 6 times with me
so does this count as Isolation or have I become a hermit monk Image Image Image Image Image

Sorry not much of a writer hope you understand . wishes to all. malcolm
Living in isolation has always been something of a double edged sword as far as I'm concerned. I never really had friends as a little girl and would be just as happy in my own company as I would be in the company of the few friends I did have.

Coming into adulthood, I withdrew more and more from society in general until I've got to the point I'm at now in that I live my life in a bubble flitting between carees.

Has this affected my general health? I have no doubt that it has in several ways - perhaps the most noticable being that I can no longer go out alone and the way that I can easily spend weeks indoors at a time.
guess it's whether it's by choice or not. Some people go off as hermits to think and make sense of life, the universe and everything. Others are isolated by the situation they're in...and that's the dangerous one!
I agree with Juggler.

It's a matter of choice.

A lot of carers are isolated and not by choice.

Our cyber friends on here understand caring and that is HUGE.

The benefits of the forum for me is I can fit it in around my committments and it is always there.

S and I do need more friends and social opportunities, but autism does limit the things that are suitable and the opportunity to even find new ones.

Melly1
I am a single mom who has 3 demanding kids. One has severe behavourial problems and often excluded fom school so i have to be at my phone all day to go and collect him from special school when they can not manage him. He receives DLA. I also care full time for my mother who has numerous difficulties. I have no social life except running between hospital appointments for her and sons appointments. Their dad left 4 years ago and does not want to be part of our lives. My mom does not want sittter in so i have to stay at home with her and 3 kids. Dont want to win the lottery would just love to get out and make a good friend without feeling guilty. i am 49
Thank you
Stifles them to death is my honest answer. Most of the time I try not to think of the person I used to be, it hurts too much. The only time I feel like "me" is when I (rarely) go away for a few days on my own - the sound of silence and no one giving me more jobs is lovely. As a widow, I know I desperately need a social life again. I've tried joining various things I used to enjoy, but haven't found anything which is personally satisfying and non demanding, I really don't want to do anything which involves work of any description. I've recently given up a long term voluntary job to try and find some more free "me" time. I've looked at evening classes but they are quite expensive and I can't think of anything I'd like to do. All I really want is some fun, a chance to socialise, share a laugh and a joke. I tried going away in a group recently, didn't enjoy it at all, felt like a square peg in a round hole. And anyhow, as soon as I have anything nice planned, one of my two carees manages to scupper my plans in some way - I've learned that the hard way I'm afraid. I've nearly deleted this rather than post it, it's 11.30pm and I've had a another busy day running around a caree, not a moment to call my own, and discovered that care staff have neglected to do some vital jobs so my son's rent has been in arrears since January!! Hopefully I'll wake up feeling a bit more positive!
ISOLATION, As a carer I became very isolated, you just fade into the background, now
mum has died , I am even more isolated, I think long term Isolation makes you become
InstitutionalIised in the end. you get paranoid. afraid to go out of your comfort zone.
People are afraid to say the wrong thing when the person has died. so they stay away
more , when you are a carer they ask how they are. but that's all they do , don't wrap the
door to see if you need help with your loved ones. but you are still tied to the house
with your loved one.
Health people that come in to help, are not proper friends. as soon as the person dies
they are gone. and when they do die, you are still in the routine of a carer, looking to
talk to them and they are not there, when you are out you see things everywhere to
remind you. you rush back to look after the person, sorry I'm going off the thread here.
but isolation no its not a good thing. and it gets worse before it gets better after the
person your looking after passes . so as I have said before without sounding blunt,
with the best intentions,
Cherish what company you have with your loved ones no matter how small.
Minnie