We need your help on your experiences of stress

[Melly1]

1. How do you know when you are stressed? How does it impact you?
tension in neck/shoulders, changes in appetite and trouble sleeping, low mood. EIther manic or lethargic.
2. Are there any ways in which your levels of stress impact on your loved one?
yes, because I'm less tolerant, less full of humour and less fun.
3. Are there particular times of the day that are more stressful for you?
late at night at first thing especially if early
4. What tips do you have to avoid, or how do you prevent becoming too stressed?
Avoid social workers!! Have regular respite!! Have realistic expectations, talk to folk or post on here. Look after yourself - get enough exercise, eat well etc
5. How do you personally overcome your stress, or what tips can you offer others to manage times of high stress?
Look at the low mood thread and choose something to do, talk/post on here, have a massage.
6. What helps to keep you feeling positive?
noticing the little pleasures in life, enjoying the moment, being outside
7. What helps to keep you motivated on a day to day basis?
Having a routine, making lists

[Simon Turner]

STRESS
1. How do you know when you are stressed? How does it impact you?
I get short tempered and snap at everything, I realise im stressed and try to hide it which makes it worse.

2. Are there any ways in which your levels of stress impact on your loved one?
She gets more stressed and goes quiet

3. Are there particular times of the day that are more stressful for you?
First thing in the morning tends to be the hardest time as I know I need to motivate myself

4. What tips do you have to avoid, or how do you prevent becoming too stressed?
STOP, have a cigarrette or go out into the garden for 5 minutes to calm down a bit

5. How do you personally overcome your stress, or what tips can you offer others to manage times of high stress?
Time out at the weekend to go fishing for a few hours to relax

6. What helps to keep you feeling positive?
Knowing that my wife is trying to take control of her situation and is taking positive action

7. What helps to keep you motivated on a day to day basis?
The knowledge that this will not be forever

[Nilla]

1. How do you know when you are stressed? How does it impact you?
I get ratty, weepy and generally feel ill

2. Are there any ways in which your levels of stress impact on your loved one?
I shout at them, get annoyed and make them feel miserable

3. Are there particular times of the day that are more stressful for you?
All day I am stressed stress is my middle name nowdays

4. What tips do you have to avoid, or how do you prevent becoming too stressed?
I read, play games on the PC, chat to my friends on here

5. How do you personally overcome your stress, or what tips can you offer others to manage times of high stress?
No tips at all

6. What helps to keep you feeling positive?
Nothing

7. What helps to keep you motivated on a day to day basis?
Thinking tomorrow maybe bettr but it never is

[Anne001]

1. How do you know when you are stressed? How does it impact you?
I get snappy, tearful and occasional panic attacks.

2. Are there any ways in which your levels of stress impact on your loved one?
It makes her feel guilty and the more she apologises, the worse I feel

3. Are there particular times of the day that are more stressful for you?
Weekends. I feel resentful, that I should be relaxing after working all week, not working twice as hard at home

4. What tips do you have to avoid, or how do you prevent becoming too stressed?
I come onto the forum, I walk away, I do exercise DVDs. Sometimes this works, sometimes it doesn't

[marie66]

1. How do you know when you are stressed? How does it impact you?
When little things that wouldn't previously have bothered me seem to become major issues or when I realise I'm getting short tempered and snappy!

2. Are there any ways in which your levels of stress impact on your loved one?
Yes, he becomes irritated too and his condition worsens.

3. Are there particular times of the day that are more stressful for you?
Afternoons/early evening. I've been up all the previous night coping with seizures so by then I'm hitting a real dip in concentration.

4. What tips do you have to avoid, or how do you prevent becoming too stressed?
Time out - if you can. Reiki & Massage ( I practice this at home and for other Carers for free - it makes me feel good!) Tai-Chi if there's time and if not...hot chocolate and a hug helps!

5. How do you personally overcome your stress, or what tips can you offer others to manage times of high stress?
Ditto - Time out, Tai-Chi, massage etc. Writing my Carer Blog, playing my harp for a wee while and if all else fails, at tough times, an occassional cry in the shower as a last resort!

6. What helps to keep you feeling positive?
Meeting other Carers (I run a support Group). Writing my Carer blog! Looking forward to some respite and remembering the world doesn't stop turning just because you need to take a timeout and catch your breath - we're on Carer time, sometimes, the rest of the world time doesn't really apply!

7. What helps to keep you motivated on a day to day basis?
Other Carers, hobbies and the thought of better days on the way.

[MonicaB]

STRESS
1. How do you know when you are stressed? How does it impact you?
Everyday! makes me tired, snappy and causes headache and may lead to Asmatha attack

2. Are there any ways in which your levels of stress impact on your loved one?
Oh yes, causes him to become snappy back, then turns into a volitile situation, the children they become distressed.

3. Are there particular times of the day that are more stressful for you?
When home after work/ running children around.

4. What tips do you have to avoid, or how do you prevent becoming too stressed?
Time for yourself, try to deal with one thing at a time.

5. How do you personally overcome your stress, or what tips can you offer others to manage times of high stress?
Go and have a sleep, time away.

6. What helps to keep you feeling positive?
Support from family and friends

7. What helps to keep you motivated on a day to day basis?
My children, husband, family and friends

[corgiee]

STRESS
1. How do you know when you are stressed? How does it impact you?
It makes me go into a dark mood and quiet,, I dont want to talk to anyone as snap at them,, makes me feel useless

2. Are there any ways in which your levels of stress impact on your loved one?
I try to hide it from my husband for whom I care for and just say nothings wrong if he asks,,he feels bad as he cannot do anything for me.

3. Are there particular times of the day that are more stressful for you?
Can be anytime really,, doesnt have to be a particular time,, mornings are pretty much routine.. when we go out I sometimes find it stressful with hubby

4. What tips do you have to avoid, or how do you prevent becoming oo stressed?
Try to get someone to give you a hand in doing something, sometimes our kids seem to think its their right to sit back and let you do it all . A hand around the home would be helpful,

5. How do you personally overcome your stress, or what tips can you offer others to manage times of high stress?
I try to have some ME time,,, not easily done as hubby thinks I dont want to care for him when I say I need some ME time.,. and that makes me more stressed tring to explain.!

6. What helps to keep you feeling positive?
I try to think on the positive side as my hubbys conditions could have been worse than they were,, there are always people worse off than oneself

7. What helps to keep you motivated on a day to day basis?
Its just routine really,,, and our dogs they give me so much and ask for so little.

[AspieMum]

Stress is causing me big problems with my Irritable Bowel Syndrome especially in the mornings. I care for my 3 special needs children and sometimes dealing with the symptoms of IBS delays me being able to see to them. I am also less patient at such times. It is very difficult to even remember to do anything to calm down when you are being pulled in 4 directions at once all urgent. One thing that keeps me going is the knowledge that if I don't the kids end up in care (there are no residential options for them) and if social services count their dad and his family as family so place them with their dad's family (due to their dad's caution for child abuse I doubt they would place them with him) then as their dad's family (a) do not believe their dad did what he did to the kids and (b) have actually told me off for telling social services the truth before because they believe you always tell social services what they want to hear regardless of what the truth is (and they have even told me that in clear, plain English) as a result the kids would be placed with their dad without Social Services knowledge and I would be barred from access by them under threat of violence (which they would deny if I complained). I am the enemy in their eyes because I ran off with the kids (which I did to protect the children but they don't believe that). I have to keep going at all costs for the sake of the children. If their dad's family get them there will be no one to protect them.

[amy green]

1. I know I'm stressed when I raise my voice, get tearful, exasperated.
2. She gets concerned/upset so I try to not show my stress.
3. Not determined by time of day, but by triggering factor/situation.
4. AWARENESS of approaching the triggering situation is key, then more able to stay calm and not fall into old, negative pattern. Also distraction, e.g. if get het up waiting for a bus.
5. By realising it's up to me how long/short I stay stressed, however my ability to curtail my stress depends on depth of emotion.
6. Count my blessings, stop feeling sorry for myself and by doing a small, outstanding job, i.e. achieving something for that day ("seize the day").
7. I'm spiritually focused i.e. try always to be loving, caring and nurturing.

[Teresa Walker]

My first post, and as a new carer (new to caring all day every day as my partner has just had a leg amputated, due to diabetes and vascular problems) I can only answer as I see it now. Once he's home from hospital it could be better or worse, I have yet to find out.
1. How do you know when you are stressed? How does it impact you?
I'm ratty, tearful, increase in IBS symptoms and generally up and down.
2. Are there any ways in which your levels of stress impact on your loved one?
Again, it's only recent that I have been needed for this level of care, but I think he feels guilty if he sees me buckling under at all.
3. Are there particular times of the day that are more stressful for you?
When I can't get the people in authority to talk to me or listen to me and give me the answers to questions I need to ask, such as what is the procedure for getting adaptations to the house, who do I speak to about it, etc etc
4. What tips do you have to avoid, or how do you prevent becoming too stressed?
Give myself an hour a day 'Me' time, for a long hot shower (we don't have a bath in this flat), catch up on soaps, listen to music, make jewellery, anything but caring for just one hour. It may be last thing at night mostly, but it's my time.
5. How do you personally overcome your stress, or what tips can you offer others to manage times of high stress?
Have someone to talk to other than the loved one you're caring for. I have a great friend who phones me and lets me have the rant I need, and offers some practical advice.
6. What helps to keep you feeling positive?
Remembering the progress made so far, and taking each tiny thing as a big step forward (which at the moment it is, especially when dealing with the DWP who are complete.....say no more)
7. What helps to keep you motivated on a day to day basis?
A little mantra....sounds mad but it works for me.

Give me the strength to get through this,
The fortitude to know what to do
And the courage to do it.

I guess that's a prayer but I'm not particularly religious, but it seems to work for me.