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Holiday - Carers UK Forum


Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
Hello, I'm new here and found you while looking for some advice.

My parents in law are both 91 and my husband is a full time carer.
My father in law is in very poor health, on oxygen for at least 17 hours a day and really can't move much at all without tiring himself out. We do have a wheelchair and portable oxygen for him, he is very mentally able. Sharp as a button and very social.
My mother in law has vascular dimentia, just before Christmas it became impossible to care for her at home any longer.
They have been married for over 70 years and my father in law is so sad and lonely without her.

That's the introductions over :-) ... we are looking for somewhere to take my father in law away even for just a few days ... he can't do a lot so somewhere where there are other people to chat to would be ideal. There is a respite hotel we have been recommended but he is so conscious of not being a pain (not that he ever could be) that if we suggest that I think he'll agree just to "get out of our hair" for a while. The plan is for my husband to go somewhere with him and I'm hoping you can suggest somewhere.

Thank you in advance for any suggestions.
Hi Tracy
Just a thought but could he perhaps have a short stay at the Home where his wife is? That way they can see more of each other. Maybe it could be a regular arrangement.

Kr MrsA
Not sure if finances would stretch this far, but how about a cruise? That way 'the world would come to him' with little effort on his part. I would think that something like Saga cruises would be the best adapted to an elderly, not-very-well guy.

(Isn't it bitterly ironic that it is your FIL who is both sharp as a pin but so physically frail, while his physically fitter wife is the one with dementia....)(in my own family, my 92 y/o MIL is incredibly fit for her age - but has advanced dementia now. )
How far would he be able to travel?

From my own experience I would suggest Blackpool or Southport.

Try a place such as the Norbreck Castle Hotel with a lot of activities going on
On the cruise suggestion, maybe a river cruise rather than a sea cruise? More to see as you glide past the river banks, and smaller scale, too.

What did he enjoy when he was younger? Can any of those interests be adapted for his more limited abilities now? For example, one can go on painting holidays, which might be wheel-chair friendly, in that your wheelchair is parked alongside other folks in front of your easel at a nice viewpoint, and you simply 'paint what you see' (!!!!)

If he likes the seaside, then definitely resorts with promenades are essential for 'easy wheeling'.
Also only a thought, but if it is only 'blokes' then would they like motor racing? They can sit and watch fast go round in circles (for hours.....!)
Thank you so much everyone, some great suggestions here which I will look into this week.

A stay at the nursing home isn't a possibility. She doesn't recognise him any longer, to make matters even worse she believes he is her father who was abusive to her, hence she is terrified when she sees him so he is staying away. It's all very sad and upsetting .

Once again, thank you very much.