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Viewing your caree - Carers UK Forum

Viewing your caree

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
This stems from a thought I got from a recent thread about what is your carer's disability (my paraphrase...you'll know the one I mean). This made me have one of those late night thoughts and decided to put it into a question to get persepctive.

How do you view your caree and their disability?

To expand on that I mean do you define the person you were caring for via ther disability or is their disability part of what makes them them? For example, people ask what my kids have as a disability, and using my oldest for an example I say Autism and bi polar but when I look at my son I do not see him as an 'autistic kid with bipolar' I simply see him and his autism and bipolar are as much a part of him as his blue eyes and cheeky grin.
I think of him as my husband.
Nothing more, nothing less.

In fact i think it is only on this forum that i ever even use the words carer/caree.

Does that answer your question or have i missed something? ( Image i often do)
There is no right or wrong answer as the question is by nature subjective. But no youu've missed nothing Image
The answer depends on whether the disability was there at birth or developed later.

If it happens later then I think the perception changes. Initially you see them as your spousechild etc, then you start to look at them as a patient so that you can care for them better and this then turns back to seeing them as who they are.
I just see my son.

A different son from the one who he was for his first 21 yrs (pre accident)

NEVER think of him as a caree, never heard the expression until I came on the forum anyway.

Still my Paul mostly.

Judy
I always view my caree as Grace. At worse times when the various health conditions have effected our lives in a more severe way I tend to see the illnesses more, but I don't see them as part of her, I see them as conditions which we're both dealing with. In the same was that I care and am a carer, but it's not part of me, it's just that circumstances have put us in these positions. They're just there, effecting our lives, not defining them.
I see our lives as being dominated by my daughter's Prader-Willi syndrome. All the issues that go with it but particularly the behavioural issues mean that nowadays it overpowers everything.
We have not had a semblance of a normal life for quite a few years now and with daughter at home practically all day, everything revolves around her needs whether we like it or not.

In these circumstances, and it kills me to say it, I see the damn syndrome first and my daughter second.
I just see him as my husband...............and MS as a bloody nuisance!
He's just my husband... the disabilities are just a pita that try to get in our way Image
Thank you for all the replies I really liked this from BB
They're just there, effecting our lives, not defining them.
Ladybird when the disabilites are at the forfront and life is intense because of it all I can see is are the disabilites too, particularly when I was homeschooling him.

Judy I couldn't begin to think what it would be like to have a child have an accident and come back a different person. That also applies to those with spouses/ partners/parents (with alzheimers etc) to know a person one way then have to learn to know them again another way. I think that's where I differ my boys have always had their disabilites, I haven't had to relearn anything about them.
I see my son with a disability, with Autism. Im still trying to accept this, i think i have . but im angry with the system.

I also look at him and feel sad as he cant do things my other children did at his age..( they are 18 and 19).
Hes very delayed and he sticks out at school , this makes me sad for him.

Tracey x