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Verbally abusive MIL - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

Verbally abusive MIL

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I'm sorry if I've offended, this post isn't about me, I was trying to explain to Jolanta what the reason may be.

It's a common fact that in-laws often don't get on. "The relationship between women and their mothers-in-law is often fraught, but it needn't be impossible" A quote from an article by the Daily Telegraph in 2018.

Its great when you do get on with you In-Laws BB and Pet, but its not always the case, just google it to find out.
Thank you for all your replies. IMHO this is all about insecurities and priorities. I found out that MIL has always been anxious about not being valued and loved. She probably unconsciously decided to make her son her most important person to fix her insecurities. He obviously failed her, because nobody can completely fix another person's low self-esteem. She sacrificed a lot for him, as it appears now, to be rewarded in the future according to her own wishes. So when he got married, she felt betrayed and disappointed, for the married child cannot fulfill all her wishes.
She has been a widow for 25 years, I think her grief has not been resolved properly. She probably wanted to remarry, but she thought and actually told me that it would not be fair to her son. All her life revolves around my OH. There is no place for me here, as her standards for any daughter-in-law are unachievable. I think she is unable to accept that for her son the most important person is me as his wife. I honestly suspect, she believes that a child must put their parents first for the whole life - married or not. Her own MIL was mean to her. From what she says, her husband put his mother first, she must have been miserable, she even wanted a divorce.
Constant fear and insecurity and feeling bad if she is not in the centre of people's attention.
Of course, this is not an excuse for her behaviour.
Actually, the problem is that she is always living in the past, chewing things over far, far too much. She has so much to be grateful for, a loving caring son, a daughter in law who supports her. In short, she is having a Wallowfest of self pity!! In the process she is ruining her own life, your husband's life and your own.
Stop making excuses for her, she doesn't deserve it!